im 30, have had one long term gf we lasted about 6 years. I remember wondering if I was gay. I have always watched straight porn for the girls. I have no memories of ever having watched it for the dudes. At age of 21 see this chick die and it kind of gave me a conscious towards women because well I said some BS to her. Then I start using Heroin, I had used for about 6 years and literally didnt get an erection for about 5 of them except for some forced self service to women I always wanted to get with. Well people I think assumed that I was gay because I couldnt get an erection from Heroin id rather have drugs than to get a gf I couldnt do anything with anyways the non erection thing kind of made me shy of girls aswell. I remember one wet dream that too Rhiana in that whole 5 year drowt. I ended up getting on some stuff that brought my erection back after quitting heroin, I fealt like a 27 year old kid so now I just wanted to fuck a girl so I sought out sex lines to get with any chick that would fuck. Now I know this story is graphic but I dont want to feed you some nonsense I want you to understand. I then get a bunch of hookers (female hookers) I got with a few other girls and always enjoyed it. But getting clean has got me all confused on who I am. I am now 30 and act like a kid and was at a rehab and some dude spread a rumor that I was gay mainly well because I didnt want him hooking my friends up with Heroin. Everybody thought I was gay from then on. Now I started to wonder if I was gay. If I am I only recently noticed it about 4 months ago. I have never got a boner to seeing these guys naked. Most people thought naw this guy isnt gay and we just hung out and all was good. I was homophobic for the most part up until I realised gay people were people too about 2 years ago. I dont care what anyone says most people are homophobic reguardless. I still have always looked at straight porn and just wondering if I am gay or if I have HOCD. No offense but being with a guy sounds kind of weird and not really what I want to do, and not sure if its denial or myself telling myself i didnt enjoy those times with the women, I know I did. Altogethor I have slept with about 20 women and just wondering if I am gay or its the withdrawling from the drugs or what.
