I come from a traditional, christian conservative family. For almost all my life I would consider myself straight; however, for the past 2-3 years, I've been noticing girls more and more. I still like guys a lot, but I realized that I wouldn't mind being with another girl. I really don't know if I'm bi or not, because I don't really have anyone I can talk to. I'm nervous about mentioning anything to my parents. They would probably drag me to church or not recognize me as their daughter. And also many of my friends have some sort of homophobia. How do you find out who you are, without causing an upset in your world?
First off. Welcome to EC! You have found a wonderful place to help figure some of these things out. I think whats really important is that you are beginning to recognize some of these other feelings. I cant add much on how to figure it out. What i can say is that you can poke around here, read some of the other topics, and ask questions. Over time things will become clear to you. I will add on the comment you made about your friends and family. >I'm nervous about mentioning anything to my parents. They would probably drag me to church Understand that going to church or these turn you straight programs dont work. In fact it is believed that such programs will actually cause more harm than good. So please be careful if you do decide to talk to your parents. >>. And also many of my friends have some sort of homophobia. So DID many of mine. People tend to be a bit more understanding when they are actually confronted with things they make fun of. Ya there maybe a few that wont talk to you or may act different. But is that someone you want in your life anyway? Matter of fact growing up I had some sort of homophobia. We are taught growing up that homosexuality is wrong or different. However, when it becomes a part of someones life hopefully they will look at it differently. Anyhow stick around. Im sure more people will be along to offer up some more, possibly better advice, remember things do get better. Thanks for joining!!
Wow, your situation sounds almost exactly the same as mine except that I'd actually developed feelings for a person of the same sex. But other than that all the parents/friends situation and the confusion sounds like something I'd have written a month ago! Since I'm still a bit confused myself and just coming to grips with everything I can't really give you much advice...only tell you what helped me cope with some of it. When I started finding things too overwhelmingly confusing I decided to just write it down (sounds cheesy, I know, but it helped). Might not work for everyone but seeing all of it written down (or typed out) made far more sense than the jumble in my head so it might help you sort your feelings out. Also you say many of your friends are homophobic but is there an exception? Someone you know would be accepting if you confided in them? It always helps to at least have someone you know will support you through this. Speaking as another questioning member of a conservative household I don't think telling your parents would be a good idea, because things are confusing enough for you now while you're still unsure without throwing (possibly) judgmental parents into the mix. Personally lurking around here for a while reading similar posts helped me a lot. Just KNOWING that there are people out there who are going through similar situations and are accepting and ready to give advice helps, and I found many answers to my own questions here. Things will clear up eventually, just take it easy and keep an open mind. Focus on how you feel not on what your friends and family might think and don't be afraid of questioning (it was that fear that kept me in denial about my feelings for over half a year). And if you need to talk to someone feel free to PM me (*hug*)