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I wanna wear make up...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Stewie123, Jul 11, 2011.

  1. Stewie123

    Stewie123 Guest

    I've recently come out of the closet to my family and my best friend. Everyone was amazing about it, and supported me 100%. I also recently began shaving (now I wax) my body hair....cuz its ugly. My mom found this a little weird and seems to be having difficulty inderstanding that I just wanna be me and do my own thing. Even though it's not "A manly thing" to do. I also want to start wearing make up, but I'm not sure how to tell her this in a way that she'll allow me. Has anyone else been in a similar situation where somebody is not fully understanding of why you do/wanna do certain things, and therefore can prevent you from doing these things, and fully being yourself.

    I think she thinks it's weird because she's never known a guy who is feminin in his appearance, so she thinks that I'm transgendered. Or she is just worryed about how others will treat me at school (I don't care about hate btw). Or it could be both :frowning2: :frowning2:

    Please help me if you can :slight_smile: This is somthing I've always wanted to do.
     
  2. Anonymous

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    Hey man,

    I am no were near to level of comfert and openess you are, and I don't know your relationship with your mom, but with my mom (who was and allways will be an amazing woman) I used to explane things to her in the most simplistic way. Tell her "I feel comfertable with makup on and enjoy wearing it" even (once she is comfertable with the idea) include her in the prosses. She is a woman after all! :slight_smile:
     
  3. Anonymous

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    I think it feel weird not to have hair on my legs, so I stopped shaving. But I think I'll probably get pushed into doing it when school starts again. I hear you.
     
  4. Lexington

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    Re: I want to wear make up...

    The best way to approach parents about things like this is (to the best of your ability) as an adult. That means:

    1. approaching the subject logically
    2. addressing any fears or concerns you think she may have
    3. letting her know what you think the ramifications are

    So you might say something like the following.

    "First off, I want to say how appreciative I am for all the support you've given me since I came out. I know this isn't something you're totally comfortable with, but you've stuck with me through it, and I need to thank you for that.

    I want to sort of prepare you for something I'm interested in. I've seen some pictures online of guys wearing makeup, and I really like the way it looks. I've given it a lot of thought, and I've decided I want to try that out. I know this might freak you out somewhat, but I want you to be reassured about a few things. I know that some people at school might have an issue with it, but I've decided I want to do this enough that I'm willing to risk having a bit of grief thrown my way. Also, I know you might think this makes me somehow less of a man or something, but rest assured I know who and what I am. And it's because I do know what I am that I've decided to do what I want, and try this out."

    Lex
     
  5. Zenzao

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    Re: I want to wear make up...

    That is good advice Lex
     
  6. RaeofLite

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    I cut my hair short... it used to be down to my butt, and I cut it to about the bottom of the ear in layers and my parents flipped. That was years ago.. but they've come to realize I have my own style, even if that means I spike it up in a faux hawk once in a while.

    Maybe talk to your mom about it so she's not surprised and tell her how you feel. Have a heart to heart. Tell her you want to experiment and you're not hurting anyone. Maybe she's worried that you'll be gay bashed, judged, or she's losing who she thought you used to be.
     
  7. Anonymous

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    I would love to include her! It would be fun! But she thinks that it's weird for guys to do those sort of things and she's the only person who can take me to the store. I'm only just getting my license and none of my girlfriends have theirs yet either soooooo...I need her support!
     
  8. Greenly79

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    Re: I want to wear make up...

    If you choose to wear makeup to school, it probably matters what kind and how much appeals to you so far as others accepting it.. When I was in high school and college, the guys I knew that wore makeup tended to limit it to some black eyeliner, maybe some pale shimmer under their eyebrows, some powder, and a lightly tinted lip balm. Very natural. It worked for them. So maybe start small when you go to school and see how it goes.
    If you want it to be natural, your mom might not even really notice. I'm not advocating LYING to her, but if/when she notices, you could then follow Lex's advice and approach it as an adult, and tell her how you feel about it. Or, describing how you will wear it when you talk to her about it might make her more comfortable because she might instantly be afraid you were going to doll yourself up like Katy Perry when she heard the word "makeup!"
     
  9. Stewie123

    Stewie123 Guest

    I know that shes afriad people will verbaly assult me because of my sexuality and style. She dosen't understand how much I don't care about others negativity. She's scared for me. I just need her to understand that I can handle things on my own and she dosen't need to worry...

    Thanks for your support! btw, until recently I rocked an epic faux hawk too! :grin:

    ---------- Post added 11th Jul 2011 at 09:17 PM ----------

    Thank you so much! I may just memeorize that :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: The hardest thing for me with these sort of things is bringing up the subject so it's not random. This will help me ease into the conversation so I don't catch her by surprise. Which will probobly make her be more understanding.

    Thanks Lex :slight_smile:
     
  10. dl72

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    I see nothing wrong with shaving, I want to do it as well, but I have too much body hair. If there is a better way, I would do it. You do what you want, and you be yourself.
     
  11. thedylan

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    Same here I have recently wanted to start wearing makeup like eyeliner and maybe some coverup to cover my dark spots but I am in a wierd situation.
     
  12. CluelessMe

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    I went through an * emo * phase where I would wear eyeliner and nail polish and my mom hates it but I was like mom I know you don't like it but I think it's cool and I feel like the real me it's just how I express myself . And she eventually camee around and it was great when she did but just takes time
     
  13. Bi As A Kite

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    Hey Stewie123, Matt Heafy doesn't have any body hair either, he thinks it's disgusting as well :slight_smile:
     
  14. Daryn

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    I feel a bit like you, because although everyone I'm out to supports me, many of them have a problem with my attraction to more butch or androgynous girls. My mom is afraid that it will invite even more negative attention, which may be how your mom would feel about you wearing makeup. Just talk to her about it, and be prepared for possible negative reactions from those who don't understand.
     
  15. KittyKat05

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    Actually, I have a really funny story about my own hair.

    I recently cut my hair, VERY SHORT, about 2 weeks ago, it's an inch in length all the way around when it used to be black and down to my waist. I did it because I wanted my natural hair colour back, but pretty much everyone I knew, even some people in my family flipped out. They thought that because I cut all my hair off I wanted to attract women now, even though that wasn't the case at all. You're hair doesn't turn you gay, I've been attracted to women since I can remember and it sometimes embarrasses my mother. But I'm still a naturally feminine person, and I DO have a boyfriend that I love so I have no idea why they would think I'd just leave him after I got a haircut.

    Basically what I'm saying is, people are going to think what they think. It's scary to suddenly change so fast like that, especially when in your mind you think that no one will accept that change. But there always WILL be someone who accepts it, even if it isn't the person your hoping for. Who knows? Maybe she will accept it, just do what Lex says and approach the situation in a mature way. Just stick to your guns, be strong, and that positive emotion will attract the right kind of people to your aid.
     
  16. thedylan

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    this is perfect

    I came out to my girlfriend and she took it really well and ten she asked if I like makeup and I told her I would love to wear eyeliner and coverup and stuff like that nothing over the top and she clasped on to the idea and said that she wanted to be the one to put it on me and its made our relationship even hotter and she keeps saying this is sexy or makes her want me, (ps she even said lipstick and I told her thats a little wierd but I would do anything to make her happy, so its on the planning board on when we shall do it) idk but she is the best thing that ever happened to me and I hope you get the same if not better reaction
     
  17. Stewie123

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    Thanks everyone for your support!
    It helps a lot :slight_smile:
     
  18. Lexington

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    Not trying to dissuade anyone, but I'll just throw out the counterpoint that some of us love our body hair, and some of us love body hair on other guys. :grin: (/threadjack)

    Lex
     
  19. thedylan

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    good point lex I like my body hair but am kinda leaning on the other guy but it all depends on the guy
     
  20. Zontar

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    I'm actually in the same fix. I want to be thin, waify, hairless. Let's not beat around the bush, I want to look like a twink. :lol:

    It's all about what you perceive as attractive and wanting a piece of the pie. I go batty for feminine, thin, hairless guys. Why wouldn't I try to go for the same look? To my detriment, this look is seen as rather unacceptable within traditional gender roles. Of course I don't expect this to go over well with the parents.

    Unfortunately, I can't give you further advice than to do it clandestinely. I've been shaving my legs for months and revealing them in settings only outside the house. One of these days, I'm gonna stop giving a shit about what people think and just tell 'em.