Advice on coming out?

> I am in dire need of advice, and to be understood.

Welcome to EC! You have come to the right place for both advice and being understood. We have all been in your shoes at one point. Some of us may still be.

> My friends? Or should I wait until the next school year? (I have decided to join the GSA next year).

What I can suggest is that when you are ready, you can come out to whomever whenever you want. Its not a race. With that being said, if you are having trouble actually saying the words you can write a letter to your friends/ loved ones, email, or even text. I personally like the face to face conversation but everyone has their own way. Im willing to bet that fo you join your GSA next year and you havent come out. That could possibly out you to your school. Not a bad thing, actually it would take care of a lot of potentially awkward conversations.

>Do you think I should tell my parents?

I dont see why not. You didnt really give any reason you shouldnt. With that being said, I see you are in high school. Many people will say that if there is a chance of you getting kicked out due to a bad reaction from your parents its best to wait ubtil you are financially independent. This is the exact reason why I havent come out to my parents.

Stick around and have fun. Maybe we can give you the boost of confidence to get it done!

 

First, Welcome to EC. although Im a little different then you, being Gay, Its sounds like your having the same thoughts/doubts as I did.

If you really want to Come Out this year, I suggest you choose the person who you believe would be most accepting, be it a close friend, or parent(s). If you can't bring yourself to tell them, you can alsways use the approach I used when coming out to my first person; write a letter explaining your feelings, how you've been thinking about this for a while, and whatever you feel needs to be said, then sit the person down and give them the letter. After they're done reading the letter, they may need a bit of time to come to terms with it, but make sure that your ready to answer anything they might have to say.

Unfortunately, I only came out recently, so wouldn't know much about the GSA. If you feel joining them will make things easier, then by all means, wait til next year. There's never a right time to Come Out, but you dont want to rush into it. (Ive only come out to half the people who are close to me, and I started Coming out 3 months ago)

Hope this helps

EDIT: Wrote this at the same time as TheWanderer, so its kind of similar

 

I did think of that aspect too. I think what I was thinking of is there maybe people that suspect and are going to be even more curious. Either way. I wish you the best.

 

Welcome to EC! A few months ago I was in the exact same situation that you are in right now. I didn't know who to start telling and how I would approach it. Eventually I decided that it was time for me to come out to one of my best friends who had a gay uncle. He was extremely supportive and helped me through the process of coming out. So my advice to you would be to come out to one of your closest friends: in person, or on Facebook (which I found to be a whole lot easier). When you do come out to your friend, it will start to get a whole lot easier to come out to other people. Good luck!

 

I'm 23 years old. I knew I was bi (well I guess I was confused) when I was 15 and fell in love with my best mate. Only she knew, and well she loved me too but nothing ever happened. She eventually pretended there was nothing between us and started dating a guy. I didn't tell anyone all throughout high school and cried myself to sleep countless nights. I didn't think of telling my parents at all cause I was being brought up in a country which is less understanding, (although my father was english).

At university I was lucky enough to have friends who were all quite open and I didn't necessarily have to come out cause I had just started kissing girls on nights out (my mates) and then in second year started dating a guy. After I broke up with him it was sort of easier to say to my friends, hey I actually like girls not just physically but emotionally etc. It was still hard for certain people to understand, but thats the way it happens with some people. Be prepared to realise that you being scared is one thing, but other people are also terrified of even being open to certain concepts (that makes them much more cowardly than you)

Only last week did I come out to my parents in a way that should have really been more planned and sensitive. I was very angry when I was debating something about gay people with my mum and just started yelling at her and telling her that way (slamming the car door etc, crying on the street). I should have been more mature really (but sometimes life doesnt work out the way u plan)

My dad is totally cool with it, its going to take my mum a lot more time to understand I think even though she said she would love me always. The only advice I can give when it comes to coming out to parents is perhaps planning it a little bit more and being sensitive (although I had planned many times, and as you said it feels like a knot enters your throat and you cant say anything).

What you realise through this process is that your parents are also human not just parents. Well that is at least what I have realised, and be prepared for anger and emotions to just swing from one direction to another. It is not easy living in a world where people can't accept that people of the same sex can fall in love with one another.

I don't know if that helps in anyway, but all I can say is, good luck and you are not alone, I often feel like that in my environment but its always useful to come onto these sites and see so many people are struggling with fighting against prejudice.

=)