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Ways to tell if your friend will reject you if you tell them you're gay?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Foxywolf, Jul 13, 2011.

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  1. Foxywolf

    Foxywolf
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    Well sorry about this but I did make a thread similar to this a while ago, it was on how to find out if your friend is supportive of gays.
    Well I know that my one friend is ok with gays, I know she is not a homophobe. But I just have this nagging paranoia that if i tell her then she will reject me and treat me differently. I know I don't have to come out to her, but you just want to share who you really are with people sometimes you know?

    I really don't want to loose her friendship, I don't want her to feel awkward around me if I tell her. I just personally have no idea whatsoever how she would react. I just want to find a way to somehow figure out her reaction if I do come out to her.

    Is there a way, some questions I could ask her, a game I could play with her that would help me gauge what her reaction to my coming out would be?
    Sorry that this question has probably been asked like a billion times before, but it's just so nerve wracking not knowing. Sometimes I wish I had a time machine or something so that if a coming out experience didn't go how I wanted it to then I could just go back in time.
    Sorry if my writing is a little unclear, it's late here and I am tired.
     
    #1 Foxywolf, Jul 13, 2011
  2. Lexington

    Lexington
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    Location:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
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    Out to everyone
    There's really no way of knowing beforehand. And if anything, playing "games" or "what ifs" tends to be more annoying people than simply find out.

    That said, speaking generally, people in general tend to react better than we expect or hope. Not that everybody is accepting, of course, but we tend to dwell on worst-case scenarios rather than trust our friends to "like us for us". The fact that your friend is OK with gays means she's almost certainly going to be OK with you. If your fear is that things are going to be "weird", you might tell phrase your coming out in such a way as to emphasize the "friend" aspect of your relationship. "I've gotten to the point where I feel comfortable enough with myself, and comfortable enough with you to tell you that I'm gay. I feel you're a good friend, and deserve to know this." This emphasizes "I'm telling you because you're a friend" over "I'm telling you because I have a crush on you."

    Lex
     
    #2 Lexington, Jul 13, 2011
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