I first of all want to say thank you so much to all of you here at EC, everyone here has been so helpful to me, and I'm really getting so much more comfortable with who I am. The big question of the night is: Should I come out publicly on Facebook? Now, I'm out to a generally good population of my closest friends, and they've all been wonderfully accepting. I also have a good feeling that a lot of my friends who don't say they know really have some idea- I've been making it kind of obvious lately by staring at guys and mentioning guys and such. There are a few roadblocks here though: 1) A large number of my family members are on Facebook, and they are all of a highly-conservative, almost anti-gay background...I don't know how this would go over with them. My feeling is that any one of them would report this to my mother, who would not take this news well at all. I already tried coming out to her and now she just ignores the subject whenever I bring it up. 3) Myself. I have been fluctuating heavily between really wanting the WORLD to know, and being really scared and timid about it. My gut instinct, however, has been to put it on Facebook and finally get it off my chest once and for all. I'll provide details if anyone needs them, but that's the basic gist. THANKS SO MUCH EVERYONE! YOU ALL ARE AWESOME! :icon_bigg
well for the first part. u could lock them so they arent able to see it. and the second always go with your instinct
Well, on facebook, you can set your privacy settings so certain people couldn't see what you are "interested in". However, when you put it on facebook, you have to realize that some people may see that as a green light to say something on your wall that would give you away to others. For example, I had a friend who had a birthday and one of his GSA friends said "Happy Birthday my fellow gay". That could have given him away. The two sides of the argument that I debated over my head were as follows: I should put it on facebook I figure that if I was interested in Women, that I would put that on facebook as well. Being gay should not be a big enough deal for me to avoid it on facebook. I do have my religious views and political views, and obviously someone could consider that personal, but I don't care about that, so why should I care about putting up that I am interested in men? In addition, if someone who was interested in me wasn't sure if I was gay or not, they could just check to see if I was or not. I Should not put it on facebook People shouldn't have to be all in my business and know what I am attracted to. I am friends with 600+ people. Do they all deserve to know that about me without even knowing me potentially? If someone was interested in me, they should be good enough friends with me to know that I am gay in the first place before having a relationship. Also, what if a facebook friend tells someone who I don't want to know (I'm only worried about my extd. family)? For now, I have chosen not to post it on facebook. I might in college, but I am uncertain. People in my area don't seem to put that on facebook very often. No matter what, most people aren't going to see it if you put it up there. Eventually more will see it, but don't expect a major difference within the first week or anything.
Hi there! Given the 'roadblocks' you have mentioned, I'd say give them some more thought and maybe work on them first before putting it out on Facebook. If you are concerned that your mom could find out, and given that you already know that she might not take the news very well, it is one more reason to be cautious. Being scared and timid about being out, is perhaps another indication that you are not ready for that step just yet. One questions you could ask yourself is: am I ready to deal with any fallout that could result from this?
