(Kinda embarrassing to do it yet once again... -sigh-) 2 years from now, I had started feeling a bit gay about myself (I'm a guy, for those who don't know) but just last year, I started identifying myself as bisexual since I still like the girls and also the boys. But as of recently, I started to waver with that self-identification 'coz I'm really getting into guys right now. I feel like always being with them, like I really feel a sense of comfort around them more than the girls. I just had a break-up from my ex-gf last month and I do think that's the reason why I feel so discouraged of girls right now (because of what she did to me). Right now, I'm trying to move on, talking to all the guys I feel like talking to, just to find some contentment from them. I also am planning to tell my friend that I am bisexual but she is kind of mad at me. I just feel like doing more things than the usual but people are suspecting of me as gay and it's annoying. Is there something I can do?
It's really a hard choice, I think you should hide yourself and try to find a girl you like. Anyway, coming out really needs courage. You have to face a lot once you do that.
Just go with the flow, don't conform to what you think people want you to be, and don't be afraid. I would say don't hide yourself, but also don't worry about labeling yourself if you are not sure what you are. It sounds like you are bi, many bi people move around the scale a lot, leaning towards boys one day and towards girls the next. Tell your friend if you feel you are ready, but don't feel any pressure to tell her now. I would wait till she is not angry to tell her though.
That could most likely be the case. But problem is, I have some kind of this attitude of changing personalities and a quick shift of emotions that may even aggravate the situation... I fear it may even make it worse... Butoh well, thanks for the advices, people.
All through your life people will tell you what to do, what to think, how to behave and who you should be. You have to get used to this fact. But all through your life you will find that most of it is wrong and is only based upon their experiences. It is hard if you don't know exactly what you are. In life do not label yourself unless you know that you are what you label yourself with. People around you will label you. It is up to you to stand up and say NO! Emotions can be tricky and sometimes like a rollercoaster ride. Do not judge yourself as being more gay because of your experience you have had with your ex-gf. There are many nasty people in life, but also very good people. It is up to us to find them and bring them closer into your life. Don't listen to people who are not in the same boat as you are, it is more likely their advice is totaly wrong for you. But you have to do some soul searching buddy. I know what happend tend to make you more negative towards the female gender, but then again there can a BF who might put you through a similar situation which in turn will make you feel more negative towards the male gender. The fact that you find it better to be with guys (whether it is sexual or not) is the fact that you might not have many guy friends and your soul is crying out for a bit of male bonding. But then again i can be totaly wrong. What you feel when you are with guys instead of with girls is perfectly natural, especialy if what happened between you and your ex-gf is very recently, is a part of you that is healing from the process. Remember, what ever she did, it hurt you, more than a physical hurt, it touches your heart in ways we can not possibly even begine to imagine. to heal from such a wound takes time... sometimes more than a couple of years. But you, you alone can speed up your recovery process, just dig deep into your soul and start to forgive her for what she has done. Once that is done, go to her and tell her that what she did was wrong, but you have forgiven her. (It might mean that you will be friends afterwards or it could be more. it might even mean that you will never speak to her again.) Forgiveness is the first and crucial step to recovery!!!!!!!! Only once you have recovered and healed from the experience will you be able to continue with your life, continue searching for who you are.
