Okay, so, I started questioning my sexuality a few months ago, and now I'm pretty sure I'm a lesbian. I know my parents would be supportive about me coming out, but for some weird reason, I'm still afraid to. There's this feeling inside me that after I come out, I'll realise that I'm not actually gay. I really have no idea why I'm getting that feeling, though. It makes no sense. I'm about 98% certain that I'm gay. I think the 2% might just be denial or something, but that makes no sense either. I'm totally okay with it. So, basically, I really want to come out, but there's a voice in my head saying "What if you realise you're straight after you come out?"... Has anyone else ever had this problem? It really makes no sense to me.
Hi, ok i have a theory, so please just stamp on my feet if i get this wrong. I don't know in what type of neighbourhood or shcool or friends you have, but to me if you are 98 percent sure, then it is basicaly a 100 percent. It could be that because of typical steriotyping, neighbourhood normalities or even in school that it is expected of you to get a guy, marry him and start your family. This voice could be the result of your environment, and the only way that you are going to break free from this is to go ahead, come out, take the fear, stare the beast in it's eyes and say "No more, You are never going to bother me again." Most of the times it will help, that little voice is a part of you that still fears if you come out, will the community accept you or not? so it tries to take you off your path and scare you. I think if you take the step and come out regardles of what this voice might tell you, then it will go away... it might not be immedeatly but as you progress on your path to get out of that closet, the voice will start to loose it's power and eventualy go away.
Thinking about it now, I think you might be right. I go to an all-girls catholic school. Most of the students there aren't exactly "accepting" of homosexuality. Someone actually started a hate group on bebo after two girls were outed. All my best friends go to one of the other schools in town. Maybe I'm afraid because, if people in school know, things will get messy...
You're not alone, I feel exactly the same way and its been really bugging me. I think Thylvin is right though and that it will pass if the initial leap is made, coming out just makes it much more real since at least another person knows.
I'm feeling a little more sure about myself now. I think I might try gathering up the courage to come out to my best friend next time I see her. Thanks.
OP, I had the same feelings as you when I went through the "am I gay" thing. I had a feeling I was gay, but then I had a horrible thought that I was actually straight with gay thoughts. That being said, the chances are that if the idea of being with the same sex is on your mind more than the opposite sex, then the chances are that you're gay. And to me, it sounds like you are. Good luck with everything.
I have the exact same problem as you! I have this horrible fear that as soon as I tell my parents or a friend, etc I'll like some GUY or something and then I will have to re-come out as bi or straight or something and I would be more confused than before! Though, I do have to say, Try telling some close friends or something (people you KNOW will be ok with it) and you will grow stronger in your sexuality like YEAH I'm a lesbian and know what that's not going to change! Good luck!
Thanks. I think my best friend will be the first person I tell. She already knows two other lesbians and she's cool with them, so I'm gonna try telling her first.
What you described in the first post is pretty much exactly how I felt when I first started asking myself questions. Like word for word (except the pronouns). There was a fear that I'd come out, only to find out I was wrong, which is one reason I waited; to look deeper until I was more certain. That's perfectly normal, I suppose. So while I'm not quite where you're trying to go yet, you seem to be doing perfectly alright. Best of luck.
I feel completely the same way, I've only ever liked girls but I don't really have much experience to compare which is why I've come out as bi - just in case I like a guy in the future, I don't want to rule out the possibility. I suppose I have the same problem as you, I'm 100% gay I just don't want to admit it... when you come out to your friend she'll probably want to ask questions and you might want to tell her anyway; the truth, that you're almost completely certain there's just some part of you... etc. I came out to my friend when I was like "I have no idea" but was still thinking "I'm straight I just don't know it yet". She was really supportive and has helped me so much. If your friend is supportive and trustworthy I think it'll be great for you to come out to her so you can have that support Good luck x
