Comments at work

You don't have to come out if you don't want too, and you shouldn't be force to come out. You need to tell them to stop making comments to you or you will report it to your superiors as harassment which it is. No one should be talked to that way anywhere. Good luck.

 

I agree with dl72

You should not be forced to come out, it should happen in your own time.
I have seperated my professional life from my private life... those i met whn i worked for the different companies in the past are all astonished when they find out that I am gay.

Give the idoit a waring and if it doesn't help, go to your superiors. If it still doesn't help i would go as far as quitting but then it doesn't realy solve the problem and jobs are very scares. I would probiply suggest to see some kind of authority, not the police exactly more in the lines of ministery of Labour. They will be able to correctly presure the superiors or even the guy himself not to do this. It is illigal and this guy can loose his job over this. What will happen first though if you involve the labour people is that they give him a warning, if it didn't work they give him a written warning this will happen up until 3 consecutive warnings until he must be let go.

if the guy is the best guy the factory have then the company will be less willing to let him go. I do not know how the labour law in the UK works but here you can only be fired if you get 3 consecutive written warings within a months time. But if a month lapses between the warings then it is not legal... unless it is stated in his contract.

But then he will only be able to call you names once a month and i think it might be better that your situation currently is

 

This is sexual harassment. You can complain about it without telling anyone that you're gay.

 

I don't disagree with the above posters necessarily. But my method has always been the more direct one. People who belittle others always look for perceived weaknesses and sore spots. Nobody ever gave me grief about my turkey-sandwich-lunches or my volunteer work, because nobody ever considered them areas where anybody (let alone myself) would have any issue with them. And so I made it my goal to move my sexuality into the same realm. I wasn't going to be embarrassed by it, and I was going to OWN it. That doesn't mean it never gets joked about - I've always worked places where co-workers will joke about this or that - but I've made it very clear that my sexuality isn't something that I'll ever be made to feel inferior because of.

Let's say I work where you work. And a co-worker came up to me and said, "You haven't gotten any sun because you've been in the gay clubs." I'd choose my response to make it clear that 1. yes, I'm gay, but 2. this comment isn't affecting me in the slightest. Perhaps this: "That can't be it. I never go to the gay clubs until after midnight - that's when all the hot guys show up." Or this: "No, it's because I'm in this godforsaken factory for so long. If I was here less, and out in the sun more, I'd probably land a boyfriend, and I wouldn't even need to go to the gay clubs."

The "fisting" comment is way out of line, though. I'd probably just look incredulous and say "Fisted? Really? You're gonna go there?" If I was feeling more antagonistic, I might say "I take you've had experience picking out who's been fisted and who hasn't?", and if I was REALLY in a cantankerous mood, I'd say "Hey, if you don't drop it, I'm gonna suggest we step outside and I can give you a first-hand lesson in fisting." I'd have to be in quite a mood to say that, and have to feel at least semi-confident in being able to bluff him down, though.

(There was one guy who worked at another company who I had to interact with from time to time. He'd keep tossing "faggot" jokes my way whenever he came over, until I told him, "The next time you come in here with your 'faggot' routine, I'm going to take you outside, kick your ass, and then fuck what's left. Understand?" He did.)

Lex

 

Sorry to hear you've had to deal with this.

I'd take it up with a boss and say that this person is trying to bully you. You do NOT have to put up with this. It doesn't matter whether you are gay or not, this is simply homophobic bullying. You do not need to tell anyone that you are gay, it is no-ones business and not relevant to the situation. Because homophobic bullying is as hurtful as any other kind of bullying, whether the victim is straight or gay. Businesses take bullying very seriously nowadays because they have to. The law clearly forbids discrimination in all areas, including sexual orientation. Companies will not tolerate bullying. So I'd check out what channels you can take to resolve this matter because you don't deserve to be treated this way by anyone. The law is definitely on your side. And under no circumstances do you need to reveal your sexuality. Only do so if you feel comfortable.

All the best

 

It bears mentioning that you're able to do this stuff because you look somewhat intimidating physically (being a big guy and all). If someone like me tried it, I'd be laughed off at best, pummeled to a pulp at worst.

 

Exactly. This isn't a route you want to go down if you can't take it to the end if you have to. (Although you may be the first person to ever say I "look somewhat intimidating physically" )

Lex