I have been thinking about this, and I was wondering if anyone could give some advice on the best way for me to come out to my roommate/other half of my bromance. I'm bi and my roommate is (as far as I know) straight. The thing is we have a huge bromance, and have had one for quite some time. We both are joking and kidding around about it, but even our parents make jokes about all of it; when we are in school, our friends will only text one of us because they know that we are almost always within arm reach. The funny thing is, we even "act gay" (his words) when no one else is around. We both pledged the same fraternity together and are going to be initiated soon as well. My biggest concern is if I tell him about myself it will change how we act towards one another and people will know something is up or possibly even deduce it. The only reason I feel like I should tell him is that he is both my roommate and one of my closest friends, and it pains me to keep such a heavy secret from him. He has even commented to a few of our close, mutual friends that it seems as if I have been keeping something from him and it's kind of putting a strain on us trying to have any serious, heart-to-heart conversation. I'm also kind of concerned because he has said many times before that he is ok with gay people he still is bothered by gays. Also, he isn't the best at keeping secrets, and there have been times I have told him stuff in confidence but he has told other people... i know I'm rambling by this point but any help would definitely be appreciated!
How long have you known your friend and has he gone out of his way to help you in times of need? Those are usually questions I ask myself before even considering telling someone about myself. In fact, I have had to ask myself these questions today as I plan on telling another close friend of mine. If you too are as close as you say and if he believes that you have been keeping something from him, chances are he already knows about you. I would wait until a day when you too have hung out for a full day and are just relaxing while watching television or playing a videogame. When you feel the time is right, start out by asking him "how long have we known each other?" He'll get the idea that you have something important to tell him and just go from there. You'll have to drill the fact that you don't want anyone else knowing though haha. I know sometimes friends just can't keep their mouths shut. Good luck.
Perhaps put it in the context of "wanting to come out slowly and cautiously", and enlist his advice and help. You might say "I've had something bothering me for some time. I think it's time to start letting people know I'm bi, but I'm worried about the wrong people finding out. I'd like things to go slowly, but I'm afraid if I tell some people, that they'll immediately tell the world." This leans things towards the "since you're my friend, I'd like your help with this" aspect of it all, and he'd probably be more likely to be helpful than weirded out at that point. Lex
