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Homophobic Boss

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Robert, Jul 19, 2011.

  1. Robert

    Robert Guest

    Joined:
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    Location:
    .
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I'm not out at all at work but at least one of my bosses is homophobic. This is my direct boss - a guy who I work with.

    We had an out gay Temporary Deputy Manager come in for a few weeks and my boss kept making homophobic remarks to me about him.
    He kept saying things like he was a "stupid little homo" and stuff like that. He also said this because the Temporary Deputy Manager ordered too much stock by mistake and so he was mad about that.

    Any suggestions as to how to deal with this? I'll probably just ignore it - is that a good idea? What would you do if your boss was talking in such a way?


    NOTE: I otherwise get on quite well with the boss in question.
     
    #1 Robert, Jul 19, 2011
    Last edited: Jul 19, 2011
  2. feelindown

    feelindown Guest

    what would you say if he said "stupid lil N-word" or "stupid lil-little person" or stupid lil fill in the blank". its all the same. the point is, people usually make comments when they think you are not a part of the group they are bashing. since your boss is making these comments, obviously he is immature and inappropriate. so he is not going to likely have a mature response to you telling him that's not right. he may say, "oh so maybe you're a homo too huh".

    what you can do is the following:
    1. ignore and act like you didnt hear it and not laugh or agree
    2. tell your boss that its not cool to make comments against people no matter what their race or sexual orientation is.
     
  3. TheEdend

    TheEdend Guest

    Its a tough position to be in. Especially if you really need the job.

    I would say that its okay to tell him that you aren't comfortable with him saying things like that and that you would appreciate it if he refrained from doing so in front of you. Now, he might suspect something or he might not, but you can simply say that you just think that everyone should be respected.

    The other option, and the best one if you really need the job or if you don't want to risk coming out, would be to let it slide and suck it up for now. Hard to do, but sometimes we have to pick our battles.