Vent =\

*hugs*

Whats SA mean? Theres heaps of people here going through the same stuff as you, we're all here for you.

 

Hi Tez,
I would start by saying that you need to stop mesuring yourself against others. You can't, you can only compare things that are comparable. Unless the person in front of you has gone through the same things as you in their life, the same experiences, has the same character and sensitivites as you, you can't compare yourself to that person.

You can only look at yourself and ask yourself if you have the qualities that you admire, honesty, loyalty, etc. If you have them then all is fine, if you don't then you can work on yourself to get them.

You can also look at yourself and say ok this time last year I was there in my life, I am now here, I have made this or that progress, I still have XXX to do but I am getting there. Don't look at what you haven't got, what you didn't do, what you don't have. Focus on the positive, even very small positive points and you will soon see that they build up.

Depression is a very nasty undermining disease which saps your self confidence and energy. There is nothing wrong with reaching out and asking for help. We all of us feel vunerable asking for help and baring our souls but just the very fact that you know this is a step in the right direction.

Above all, don't be so hard on yourself!

 

Ah, if that means you dont like going out or being in big crowds, I know a few ppl that are like that. And jus the other day i asked how hes going and he says hes getting better. So there is hope.

 

I loved this part of Louise's post. She is absolutely right. Focus on your good qualities, expand on them, take baby steps, and soon you will be blooming with self confidence.

 

I found this site through Google http://www.socialanxietysupport.com. I don't know whether it is relevant to your situation though.

I suffered from this to some extent when I was younger, though probably not as much as you seem to be. For me, coming out (which I did when I was about 26) helped a lot. Party because I did not have to worry about being "found out", and partly because I gradually developed an attitude where I didn't care so much what other people (especially straight people) thought about me. I think age is part of the reason for the latter too.

I still do not like going to pubs and clubs on my own, and get a bit nervous when there are groups of rowdy guys (such as groups of football fans) around. I am also still nervous about meeting new people for the first time.

One thing that sometimes helps is to ask yourself "what's the worst that could happen?". At an interview: you could make an idiot of yourself and not get the job. At a pub or club: (as long as you've done a bit of research first to avoid somewhere known for trouble) you would be made to feel unwelcome and would leave. On a date: it finishes early and you don't see him again. All are embarrassing, annoying and upsetting at the time, but are not a big deal in the grand scheme of things.

 

This is the part that strikes a cord with me... feeling unworthy of help is a very powerful discouragement. You ARE worthy of help! Never forget that. People that help LIKE to help and get satisfaction out of helping... so let them!

 

Hey Tez,

Don't feel bad! I've gone through this to some degree. I developed an inferiority complex as a result of being gay and my parents telling me that I'm no better than the next person (even though I'm pretty talented). I felt that if I wasn't doing my best, I was worse than everyone else, and as a result I sort of isolated myself whenever I felt down.

Are you self-conscious? I used to worry all the time about what other people thought of me. Sometimes I still do, but it's not as bad. I just do the things I enjoy doing and as a result I have results to show. I've gotten more outgoing and I've taken more opportunities to do things that I normally wouldn't have before.

As for what you said about not having anyone to hug . . . ThatCrazyThang pretty much said it.

 

Hey again Tez

I think you should stay focuussed on all your good traits, bud, remember that everybody is not perfect, and nobody can have all the good things in life. You should be proud for all of your good personalities, think about them as some good things that you got, always think possitive

My dad and some people call me dumb and useless. What can I say, it's a part of me, and it's who I am, at least I tried my best so Im proud.

Be who you atre and be who you wanna be, as long as that makes you happy

And for the SA part, I got it too, Im shy as hell, but yeah. I found out the important thing is not being socialable, but to be owning all the good personalities that you have. You dont have to talk to make people like you, but your actions. Rather be a quiet man but helpful than to be attracted and cool but an ignorant person who walks away when their friends need help

Life is kinda funny, you cant make it teh way you want but you can spin it like a fan

I know you will feel like this again, so feel free to post more. Tez, feel free to talk about your problems with people that have the same situation, dont be shy, who cares what they think, you do this because of you, so you can feel better. Just a little talk, and you'll find it's easier

 

Good luck Tez! And your welcome.

 

Our pleasure! Don't hesitate to ask for help or suggestions! WAY more people than you'd ever know suffer from one kind of mental health issue or another. When I admitted to my friend that I had an addiction, she admited that she was OCD! I had NO idea! People just don't talk about it. But now that we've both been honest about it, we can talk with each other when either of us is having a bad day.

And we're all here for you when you're having a bad day. Because your problems CAN be overcome! You only have to cope with them one day at a time.