It's important to realize that some people have personalities that are very abrasive. These people will tend to push you around, take advantage of you, and make you feel like you're working for them if you allow it. The key thing is to recognize that you're as important as anybody else on the planet. If somebody else is better looking, more popular, or just a stronger personality- so what? The Lord loves you every bit as much anyway- so the key is to love yourself! It's important to tell other people what you want and don't want. It's important to tell people what you're willing to do and what you won't do. It's important that other people see you as a person with a willingness to stand up for himself. If you can add one extra thing to all that independence you'll have something that's worth its weight in gold: the extra ingredient is to be able to let go of anger quickly and completely. If the other person doesn't listen to you or feel adequate respect for you- remember that you can't control how others act and feel. And in the end, it's not your business to other than in how it efects you directly. Since you can't control others- let it go. If they're loud and blustering- let them be loud and blustering. Just don't allow their manner to force you into doing things that aren't right for you. Accept the flaws of other people without judgment but don't allow their flaws to push you around. The word, "no" is very powerful. No, I won't do that. No, that's not an option with me. No, you can forget it. No, I'm not going to do that. No, I'm not interested. If they ask why- "it's not right for me" or "I have no interest" is all you ever need. If you're dealing with a friend or a well meaning person- the no response is still important in saving you from projects you have no interest in or that would be ultimately harmful for you. But you can say it in a friendly manner. If you're dealing with someone who is trying to use you, intimidate you or take advantage of you- "no" needn't be expressed in a friendly manner. Obviously, you've got to weigh the fact that when you tell other people no, they're always apt to take it personally. So work on adding one extra thing to your communication when you feel it's appropriate: No, I won't work for you this weekend but I'll be glad to do it when it doesn't interfere with my schedule of plans. "No, I'm not interested in going out with you but maybe we could be friends. I'm just not in the market for a boyfriend at this time" or- "I just don't see you in that way." No, I don't talk about my private life with people I barely know. I only open up to people about such things when I really know them and they really know me. Hope that'll help somebody. :icon_bigg Tim
