So ummm.... yeah. Is that an option , because if it is I'll take it. You know delete this account, go look at some playboy, just you know ignore it. This probably wasn't the best idea. Coming here has kinda raised a bucket load of feelings that dealing with dosn't seem like a possibility. I thought maybe I could get some answers here but it has realy just brought about more questions and conserns. It seems ideal enough, big communitee of similar people who could answer your questions and confort you, but maybe this is just making it a bit worse. sorry for waisting your time. Hey i did say both guys and girls right? and ive had more romantic feelings toward girls and just dumb teenage physical atractions to guys. its just the lure of the forbidden. what if all this info changes you into somthing you dont want to be? It will defiantly pass....... OK PLESE HELP. i have no idea what to do. half of me is like turn back its not to late, but the other half is curious and belives this is the only way to be happy. Labels scare me, using the term closet scares me, Parents finding out im here scares me. everything scares me at this point. I don't know if I just need a hug from a supportive friend or a serious life re-evaluation but if anybody knows what to do about freakouts , break downs, feelings of self lothing and regret. please input any advise. I know this is probably just a whiny post, , but i have no idea what to do at this point. PLEASE HELP.
*hugs you* Hey, it's okay to feel scared. I'm glad you wrote this and I'm here for you if you would like to talk. You don't have to label yourself right now if it will just make you feel more anxious. I know in high school I had so many confusing feelings about girls that it was just too much to label myself as anything. First off, it's important to tell yourself it's completely okay to be scared. There's nothing wrong with being scared, breaking down, or feeling regret. It's normal and so many people can relate to what you're going through, me being one of those people. I think it's really great that you wrote on here and you should just go about things at your own pace. Remember that you can't help who you are attracted to emotionally/physically. Allow yourself to feel and don't pressure yourself to feel a certain way. I think it helps to talk on websites like this. It reminds me that I'm not alone in this confusion. Whether you are attracted to guys/girls or both guys/girls, you are still you. You are still the same person you were before you started feeling confused. There are so many aspects of yourself besides your sexuality. You could try writing down good things about yourself and every time you start freaking out, read that list. Remind yourself you are a friend, a student, etc. Tell yourself feelings toward the same/opposite sex are normal. You won't make feelings change toward the same/opposite sex by being on here so don't worry, this website is just about finding support and people that can understand. Remember you are not alone. I'm here for you and there are lots of people that have been/are scared before. Take it easy on yourself and don't ever worry about wasting anyone's time on here. We are all here to understand ourselves and it's good to know others that are going through the same.
It's OK to be scared. I was scared too when I figured it all out. Just take it all one step at a time. However, fighting it will not bring you comfort. It only hurts more in the long run, and the more you fight it, the worse it gets. It's OK to take it slow, by all means, rushing isn't the answer either, but please don't try to fight it, you'll never win. Trust me, I tried to fight it for years, it never goes away. It's part of who you are. It always has been. It doesn't matter if you're gay, straight, or bi.
Hey I'm kinda in the same boat as you and since I'm attracted to both guys and girls I seriously contemplated just acting on half of my feelings, those towards the opposite sex that aren't judged by the society while repressing the other ones. Yeah...didn't quite work out. If you try to change what you feel and repress a part of your feelings it's not going to make things better, it's going to make them worse. You can't chose who you get attracted to or who you fall in love with. You need to accept yourself the way you are. I kept running from it for a while now and just ended up completely miserable feeling like I was living a lie. And now that I've started accepting myself I feel as if a great weight's been lifted from my chest. I feel much better than I did before. But it's normal to be scared for a while before you learn to accept it, and most people get really freaked out when they start questioning. The most important thing now is to just see how things go, don't try to repress any of your feelings and get some support. For me, it was this site that finally made me comfortable with all this because I saw that many people were going through the same thing I was and that I was not alone. You need to remember you're not alone, and that your feelings are something that isn't to be rejected based on what some close-minded people preach is right and wrong. So I think sticking around here will help. Take deep breaths, write it all down if it helps you sort it out and remember, you're still you. Your sexuality is a part of you but it doesn't change who you are. It's tempting to start second-guessing yourself (have I somehow convinced myself I'm attracted to the same sex? etc.) but that can only lead to more panic...just don't overthink it. It'll fall into place eventually and finally *giantbearhug* this is the cheesiest thing in the world to say but it'll be ok. We're here for you.
Hi. I see you're a relatively new poster so if it hasn't been said before, welcome to EC. You really are in the best possible place to discuss and work through your feelings. Reading between the lines of what you wrote, my sense is that you are probably either gay or perhaps toward the gay side of the bi spectrum. I realize that is probably not at all what you want to hear, but it really will be OK, regardless of whether you ultimately discover that you're straight, gay, or somewhere in between. What you're feeling is totally, completely normal. My guess is that what's happening is that the cracks in the "denial" armor have started appearing, and the truth behind it is starting to emerge, which scares the shit out of you. But it will get better, and you'll get past the frantic feelings you have now. That's an absolute. If you haven't seen it described elsewhere, there are stages of loss that everyone experiences with any major loss (in this case, the potential loss of your identity as a straight man.) The stages are denial-anger-bargaining-grief-acceptance. As denial starts to break down, the anger manifests itself exactly with what you're experiencing now... "Why me? I don't want this. Goddamn it, I want it all to just go away. Fuck this gay crap." And then... the bargaining... which can look like "Well, maybe it's just a phase... maybe I'll go out with guys now, but settle down with a woman later... maybe I can just force myself to watch straight porn and it will help me turn straight again and turn off the gay impulses" or any of a thousand other things. The stages aren't necessarily sequential, and people often go back and forth through the first three quite a bit as they are processing. And it sounds like that's exactly what's going on for you. Stick around. Talk about everything that's upsetting and bothering and scaring you. This community is here to help and to offer our virtual hugs to you. And that's how you'll get through this, regardless of what the final outcome is. Time is on your side; there's no rush to come up with a final answer, so just try and take a deep breath and relax a little. If you'd like to speak individually with me or any of the rest of the advisor team, feel free to PM any of us.
