This is a bit complicated. So, a person whom I don't know but who appears to be friends with someone I have casually met has found me online and started following me on social networks. He is obviously gay, must be around 24 years old and appears to be single. He is kind of stalking me. He appears to have thoroughly read all the information he could find about me on Facebook and stuff like that. He has also started talking to me via Facebook messages. I was nice to him, but kind of blunt. The thing is, although we have not met, I don't have any romantic or sexual interest in him. He a bit older than I'd feel comfortable with, and weird in a way that's hard to explain (not exactly creepy, just... weird). Yesterday, however, he started trying to enter the topic of homosexuality in our conversation. He has figured out I am gay, but I don't really want to admit that to him. I've come out to my first person yesterday, and I'm not thrilled to come out to stalking stranger. The last message he has sent me is pretty much him asking me whether I am gay. He started talking about a gay film that he found out I like, because I follow the director and two of the actors on Twitter, and asked if I liked the theme. I dodged the question by saying that I do have interest on the theme of discrimination in general, but that I didn't watch the film because of that. He then said he was going to be "explicit", and asked if I wanted him to recommend me similar films on the genre. I'm thinking of answering something like this: "I feel that you are actually asking me if I am gay. The answer is no, and I'm sorry if I gave you any wrong impressions." I feel bad lying like that because he has been very kind to me, and because that goes against the general "trying to come out" stance I'm adopting. On the other hand, I don't want to make him think I'm interested in him, and I certainly don't want him telling other people (he might have a few mutual friends with me). So, what would you people advise me to do?
I agree with feeling down. There is just a creepy vibe from what you have said. Block him and cut all contact thats my advice.
I'd agree. Simply block him and if he contacts you anywhere else, just ignore him. You shouldn't feel any obligation to respond.
Thank you all. As usual, you people have surprisingly good advice. My only real concern about doing that is that he has some ability to affect my "real" life. If he felt offended, he might start defaming me on social networks, or perhaps telling his friends at my university what happened (he pretty much has evidence that I am gay). Still, I'm inclined to take those risks. I will decide tomorrow.
BREDREN!!!!!!!!!!! I went through a very similar thing! This guys was FREAKY! I met him at a LGBTQ meet ’n’ greet at university and because I was such a shy wallflower he felt pity for me (pff! I just wasn’t feelin' anyone...LOL) and he exchanged numbers and found me on Facebook and asked me out to coffee- the works! He came on too strong and I just cut him out my life! I said I was getting rid of Facebook (not true) and blocked him and even changed my name on Facebook to a nickname so I’d be certain he could NEVER find me again! Do the same! Block his number if he gets it! Tell your acquaintance through who you know this creeper from that “Your friend is coming on to me like gangbusters and I do not appreciate it!”, (don’t tell that acquaintance you’re gay, just say you feel uncomfortable with his or her friend coming on so strong). Oh, and if you have to lie about your orientation to get this guy off your back, do so. You know who are and that’s all that matters.
block him. make yourself unsearchable. make sure friends of friends can't search you. take your privacy setting to red alert. no additional contact period. as far as him having anything against you and trying to let him down easy, trust me...for the creepy stalker types, they do not understand being nice and being let down easy. to them that mean..."oh there's still a chance". end all communication. i wouldn't suggest telling your friends about it unless they say "hey this guy said this or that". you can even just say you dont know this person or you can say you were trying to be nice on fbook but you dont really know them and they kept contacting you. also in the future. do not add people onto facebook you do not know or have not met in real life first. in fact, i wouldn't suggest adding anyone on there unless you already know you are great firends. if they are your friends, get their number and talk to them that way.
Yes, I agree that you should block him. You should set your facebook setting to only friends being able to sent you messages, or look at your profile information.
I took everyone's advice and blocked him everywhere. Also changed settings on Facebook to make pretty much everything private to friends. Thank you all.
