I'm still completely in the closet. But, I've finally accepted myself as being gay (first step). And, I'm planning on coming out to my best (guy) friend this week (second step). I'm ready to be open and honest. So, in that line of thought, I've been thinking about a timeline for coming out. I'll be starting law school in the fall. Part of me wants to come out to everyone in a matter of weeks. Like ripping off a band-aid. And, start law school with a clean (gay) slate. Does anyone advise for/against this? Would it be too emotionally stressful? Now that I've accepted myself I'm just ready to be out. But, maybe I'm not realizing the full emotional implications of coming out. Maybe I'm making more than I should out of the idea of being out to everyone. Just looking for any thoughts, tips, or advice. Thanks.
i can't comment on the stress/experience of coming out, since i'm still trying to figure out where i fall, but i can comment a bit on the law school experience. i just graduated at the end of may, and i can tell you my first semester was a crazy, stressful experience like no other. i'm pretty sure i didn't know which end was up for at least the first half, plus i was also still working full time. that said, my law school was a very diverse environment, with a lot of openly gay students and a student organization. it does seem like a good chance to start anew, particularly if your school is as open an environment, just keep in mind that starting law school will probably upend your world at least for a little, no matter what.
If you wana kick down the closet doors with a gay roundhouse kick, then chuck norris your way out! There is no right,wrong, or even ideal way to come out, its all in what you want to accomplish. That being said I have heard a few people say here that they would like to start college not being closeted which makes a whole lot of sense. Lets face it college is prime experimenting time. Emotionally, is whatever you can handle. I personally came out 99% in a matter of a month or so. I think it was the best thing for me. I couldnt imagine myself doing it any other way. Matter of fact, emotionally, I feel about as stable, happy, and confident as I ever have my entire life now that Im out. Just remember what worked for me and anyone else here, there, and in tuscan may not be the best option for you. Consider what you want to do and why you want to do it. You will find your path, best of luck.
Welcome to EC! There really isn't a set rule of how you should come out, how fast and to who. The best strategy is to stick to what feels more comfortable for you (or as comfortable as coming out can feel) If you want to go all out and get it all over with then go for it. If you want to take your time then that's alright as well. The only thing that I would say is to try and get a support group first before coming out to everyone. That way, in case things get bad, you can always count on that person/people to back you up. Also, you might be getting ahead of yourself a bit. Tell your friend first and see how you feel afterward
I came out to my best friend today. The conversation went well and he was very accepting. I knew he would be. I was very excited about sharing with him but the emotions afterwards were unexpected. I felt a bit blue... almost how I'd feel after a break up. Not sure what to make of that. After this first experience of telling someone, I'm predicting it will be a longer process to being fully open and out. Either way, I'm making progress.
There is no right or wrong way to do it. I you feel comfortable biting the bullet and just doing it, I would say go for it. You're very brave and it sounds like you know who you are!
Congrats on coming out to your friend! I just finished my first year of law school, and here's what I can tell you about it: first semester is extremely emotionally draining. You'll always have more work that you can finish, you'll be scared about your exams, and you'll want to focus your energy completely on your studies. I'm not saying that you should come out to more people or less people, or how you should do it (hell, I have not even done it myself!). But if I were you, I'd just keep in mind that law school is going to take a lot of emotional energy--more than you think--and I'd budget my personal life to deal with that. The legal economy isn't great and grades are very important. Do well in class and life will be a lot easier down the road. Just some thoughts to keep in mind as you start the semester. Good luck with everything. Let me know how it goes, and message me if you have any other law school questions. As far as coming out goes, I think those are better left to the wonderfully helpful people here.
Thanks, beebs. And thanks to the other responders too. I realized I didn't say that in my second post. Though, I think it can be forgiven since I was definitely caught up in the moment of having just come out to my best friend. Anyways, I'm so glad to have found empty closets. It's great to have found a community of people experiencing the same things. Both those offering support because they're in the same place and those offering advice because they've already been through it.
Just saw this, so congrats on telling him! The emotions right after telling someone can range from extremely happy to not feeling anything at all. They are all normal and they change depending on the person. Similar to how everyone reacts differently to someone dying. Only gets easier from here on so good luck!
