Hi everyone. Just wanted to say before I go off on my little rant what a nice community of people this seems like. I can't wait to get to know all of you . So, I'm basically worried about two things,one being my bisexuality and the other being my cross-dressing. The bisexuality is easier to explain than the other, so I guess I'll just start there. I recently met a new friend, a gay man, and we have been getting along swimmingly. I happened to mention the othet day that I am bisexual and he laughed at me, told me there was no such thing and called me a 'greedy slut'. I am TIRED of this reaction to my sexuality. I understand that unfortunately there are a lot of people that get drunk and think it's fun to make out with whoever crosses their path but that does not mean that there are not legitimate bisexual people out there. I tried to explain this to my friend and he said that no one could love both sexes equally, even going so far as to cite my current relationship with my boyfriend as proof that I am 'straight'. I pointed out that I have had long-term relationships with both men and women, and in fact one of the great loves of my life was a woman. He said, "well I'm sorry, but I just don't think bisexuality exists." How can it not exist if that is what I am??? I can't change it, anymore than he can change his! I guess my question is why do so many people in the LGBT community snub their noses at bisexuals? Sorry, that was a little rant there, and this next part is more about my confusion when it comes to my gender identity. I have finally come to terms recently with the fact that I am a cross dresser. Just to make it clear, I am a woman. I don't think I am transgendered FTM because I enjoy being a woman, I do. However, there are times when I like to dress as a man, including binding my breasts and stuffing my underwear. I have never gone out in drag because I don't think I could pass. I guess I'm just so confused because it seems as though I am a transvestite but I've never even heard of another female transvestite. As the moment what I do is a complete secret; nobody knows, not even my best friend. I'm also confused because although there is an element of eroticism in my dressing up sometimes, that is not always the case. Sometimes I am just more comfortsble being a man. I almost wish I could be both. But then that sounds misleading too, because I really am a very secure woman, and I love my femininity. I probably prefer being a woman to a man, but I'm just so confused! What am I??? I can say that I have recurring dreams about having a penis, although the rest of my is usually still female. Most of the time in these dreams I am masturbating or sleeping with women, although I also dram of being a male who is bottoming during anal sex for another man. I'm so confused about my identity! If Freud wasn't full of crap I would almost say I have penis envy . I can say that I hate my clitoris. I love my vagina, and I enjoy penatrative sex, but any clitoral stimulation makes me highly uncomfortable and mst of the time hurts, not mater how much lube I use or how gently I or my partner goes. Gun to my head, if someone asked me what my identity was, I would say I am a woman, but that just doesnt seem to completely make sense to me! Are there any other female cross dressers out there? What the hell even am I?
To answer your first question, people of all sexualities tend to snub bisexuals because "slut shaming" is, unfortunately, an incredibly normal occurance. As a woman, there is an inherent power balance between yourself and the world around you. If you have "too many" lovers by societal stands, you are a 'slut'. The word is a slur, and it is meant to hurt when it is said. If your friend called you this, they are not a supportive friend. All of the LGBT community does not feel this way. Bisexuality does not make someone more prone to having more lovers, either, just like being gay does not make someone more prone to having more lovers. What happened, in the interaction you cited, was slut shaming. It is not right, and you do not have to put up with that. It is not only impolite, it is downright prejudice. Bisexuality clearly exists, and there are folks who will accept you as you are for who and what you are. Just look at the B in LGBT. To your second question, female crossdressers do exist. However, if you feel more comfortable being a man, you are probably not just a crossdresser. I cannot tell you what your gender is, that is based on your own personal inflection and emotions, but I was wondering if you have heard, or know of, the term genderqueer? I had your problems in the past before I realized that I was a gq. Genderqueer people are those who do not have a definitive gender, or do not identify with a particular gender. I am willing to physically be with both genders and therefore would classify as bisexual to most people. There is also something not mentioned on the options list here called being: bigendered. It means basically the same thing as bisexual -- that you could be both genders, and sometimes are, but it doesn't have a pattern. You just are one gender or another some of the time. If you have any questions I would be more than happy to answer them.
i will only post in reference to the bisexuality bit. as far as the crossdressing, that's out of my realm.... ok here's the thing. if you like both, you like both, and if someone doesn't understand that or laughs at it, or says that you are in denial and just afraid to accept you are 100 homosexual, then drop that loser person. as far as why a large segment of the gay community does not embrace bisexuality and laughs it off...who knows. for a group of people that are always talking about not wanting to be labeled, not pushed into a box, and wanting acceptance, they definitely bash the bi-s. lol. i personally think it stems from their own insecurities and self hate. sometimes people are against bi's because they feel like you're using it as an excuse not to identify with their group. maybe just maybe they feel like you are using it as a way to still live a "normal" life in front of other and pass for straight when you feel like it. they is this feeling like, "i have to go through all the gay bashing and crap and emotional exhaustion for accepting myself, and you're getting off scott-free." it's like when some black and white people have an issue with mixed raced people saying they are mixed and not black. instead of letting the mixed person call theirselves whatever they want to, some people want to force them to be one of the races (usually black). i think no matter what the minority group is (gay, black, disabled, etc.) people in that minority group have a problem when other people that look and act like them dont fully accept and commit to their group. all of a sudden people start accusing you of trying to be something you are not. the fact is you are bi so if they dont like it tell them "Baby i was born this way." lol.
don't ever let anyone ridicule you about being bi sexual. It is sad that this discrimination exists within the LGBT community. We can show that gay people exist, and straight people exist, and science shows natural processes that impact which group you exist in. why should we assume that there is a little genetic switch with two settings? if you can be attracted to the opposite sex, and you can be attracted to the same sex, then there is no reasonable arguement for why you can't be attracted to both. so just think of a snarky responce that blows their ignorance to next week. A good offense is a snarky defense... deflect and dance it off.
Well, people say bisexuality doesn't exist even though you are living proof it does. You have loved men and women in that way. End of story. As for cross-dressing and whatnot, you sound gender queer, genderfluid, or bigender. There are a number of gender identities that go beyond being cisgendered or transgendered.
OH OH, ATMA... is your avatar true? does god really hate juice... oh god, I knew I should have no had that orange juice as dennys... now I have instestinal worms, AND I'M GOING TO HELL! sorry... back to topic. Just be yourself. Screw what other people say or think. You are only as weak as how much you let rude people weaken and degrade you.
Ignorant and offensive. several possible reasons. "As for me, so for all" attitude could be one, jealousy another, maybe resentment at how they see your life as comparatively simple to deal with, or maybe having read some bullshit on the internet from someone else just as ignorant perhaps... This person needs re-education, don't let them get you down. Ignorant and obstinate then. His behaviour is just as offensive as a straight person asserting that homosexuality doesn't exist. Fuck him (proverbially, of course).
