Ok so last night I had some freaky dream. I was relaxing with my mom dad and twin brother in a hot tub. I belive I was arguing with my brother and he says somthing like well "you're gay" and not like in the stupid synonym for stupid way. I remeber acting shocked that he even knew. (nobody really knows I'm confused) but I did not reject it imeadiatly, then akward silence. Then i realize "oh shit im supposed to flat out reject that notion not stand here thinking about it." I start to go on the defencive but I the damage has already been done. My mom say somthing like "is it true". at this point im like o shit and say I just need a minute , so I run, fast. A couple minutes of that and then I wake up in a cold sweat. What the hell. Is this becoming that big of an issue that not only am i losing sleep over it im dreaming of it to? Any advice, sugestions, or anything that would help me understand WTF is going on?
Wow, that's too bad u're stressed about this. I'm not sure what it really means that you had a dream that caused you such distress. Have you had the dream more than once yet? I also have had a coming out dream, maybe more then one, so when I saw your thread subject I thought I'd reply. Take care.
Dreams are a way for your brain to work things out. Have you been thinking of coming out or afraid of coming out? I know when I was thinking out coming out it seemed thats all I thought and dreamed about.
Dreams are a safe environment for your brain to explore choices and their consequences; it is thought that that might be why we have them, at least originally. I used to spend literally every minute of the day stressing out over the fact that I was bi; all I can say is, it will pass. Before you go to sleep, make sure you are calm. Try putting on some quiet music, cuddling with a pet, meditating... If you have a TV in your room, don't go to sleep with it on. Start winding down for the night well before you go to bed too, like 30 minutes, an hour before.
Expanding on that a bit: dreams are evolutionarily used to for the preparation of future danger. They've done experiments on mice. Compared to the control group mice, the mice that was deprived of REM sleep (dreaming phase of sleep) fared way worse in survival tests, such as running away from cats and other predators. This is the reason why most dreams are of anxiety and danger; happy dreams in fact do not come very easily. What this means for you is that, your brain is paying a significant amount of attention to your sexuality struggles, and is enacting scenarios in your dreams that may possibly happen in the future. You are given an opportunity to prepare in those dreams. Even if you do not remember the dreams afterwards, the experience is stored in your unconsciousness, and you will be able to deal with the situation better if it does come up. So rest knowing that bad dreams and nightmares are not "ominous" or "a bad sign". In fact, they can be a good thing.
I had several dreams about coming out before and during the process. One dream involved me getting chased by people who wanted to gay-bash me... that was while I was still worrying about whether all my friends would reject me. It's perfectly normal for your dreams to reflect what you're concerned about during the day. That was the worst coming-out dream I remember having. The upside to dreams about coming out is you'll probably have some dreams about what to do after coming out. I had a few of those dreams. They were full of very nice men, and they were lots of fun! :icon_redf
I remember having several dreams like that. In one of the dreams, I was in class and I went to get a ruler and then a boy came up to me and started talking. I can't remember what he said but I started to notice how hot he was and then I got an erection. Everyone saw and then some people got really angry and then I ran while they chased after me. You said you were going to come out when you start college so I guess your brain is using your dreams to play scenarios where your completely out of the closet. We all have strange dreams about things at one time or another. Recently I've been having dreams about taking care of babies. In time your dreams about this will stop.
I used to have coming out dreams or dreams I was afraid of people knowing I was gay all the time. Like one dream I had was that In the journal we keep for English class I had written something, that implied that I was gay and my teacher had read it. I was then very worried that she was going to find out that i was gay. She then later showed me the passage and then kind of winked at me to let me know that she knew and was ok with it. Then later as an English class assignment we had to serve drinks to some people of the opposite sex, but she told me I could serve drinks to the same sex. So I served tea to this cute girl at a computer. It was kind of weird. But yeah, as other people have said, your dreams are just replaying in your head what is worrying you.
thnaks for al the good sleep advice as well as other stories most helpful. good to know im not alone. it is a stressful time but EC helps alot. to DarkClarity umm when did i say i was coming out in college, actually planning to has never really crossed my mind. Also now that i think about, i did not come out, my bro figured it out and usned it against me, maybe thats what im scared of, people finding out and using it agiasnt me. Unrelated note i was chilling with my freinds talking about what girls we were into and stuff, i never thought about this stuff and was actually intersted insome of the girls them. Just glad the same sex liking part of the confusion was not part of my life for a day, maybe ill sleep easy tonight.
I'm in my teens and I've been having gay dreams since preteen. I never thought I was confused I just thought it was a phase. But the dreams didn't stop and they would always involve my friends and I ended up falling for the same sex. My family and I are extremely religious and believe that homosexuality is wrong. So I started to become homophobic because I didn't want to be gay. But I've kind of faced the facts now and I am a 100% supporter of the LGBT community but I haven't yet told anyone about my "confusion" I've had many dreams about coming out but I haven't been able to do it yet because I still think I'm unsure. What if it was just a 3 year phase?
Have you ever had any same sex experiences, shootsy, or just dreams? You might want to see if those dreams are real before coming out.
No, I haven't had any chances. Maybe I just haven't put myself out there.. But I'm deffs attracted to the same sex.. So it's really confusing because I haven't had any 'experiences'. Advice.?:icon_sad:
