Hey so I'm going to university in September and I just got my room assignment. I got a single room, but it is also the size of a closet and located in a basement (so not the best choice). So I put in for a transfer and I've been looking to trade with other people. But now I've got to thinking about whether or not it would be awkward to have roommates. I plan to be completely out in university and what if my roommates aren't comforatable with that? I don't think anyone would hate me for it, but I could envision them being weirded out having a gay guy sleep 2 feet away from them. And there could also be privacy concerns for them. So now I'm thinking of canceling my transfer request because of this. What do you guys think about this? Am I going overboard?
I think you are overthinking the situation, honestly. If someone has a problem with you, they will request a transfer. If someone makes you feel uncomfortable, then you need to alert the person in charge of your dorm and request a change. If you want to transfer, then transfer. In my experience, most university kids, unless it is a private religious school, should not have a problem with that fact that you are gay. If you were going to a religious school, you may run into quite a few problems I would suggest not transferring your rooms. Hope I helped, and good luck. Hopefully you won't get a roommate that you don't like!
keep the single. you will have privacy and will not have to deal with anyone elses drama. make sure tho you force yourself to make friends those first couple of days and weeks because a lot of bonding happens with roommates during the time freshman year. if you hate it after a week or two, ask for a switch. having your own space may be good if you meet someone for dating. if you are the lonely type that can't function without other people, then get a roommate. just know that they may or may not be ok with being with a gay roommate. im not sure how things are for kids today or how the youth accept or reject gays, but i do know one thing, i think guys in general may be ok with you being gay if you are low key about it, but if you are out to everyone and in gay organizations, they may not want people to start thinking they are gay too for being around you or being in such close quarters. however, i could be wrong.
First year of university I definitely recommend having a roommate. It's just so much easier to socialize and get into the dorm life if you aren't holed up in some dinky basement room. It'll actually force you to be more social, whether you like it or not, and that's a good thing. It's one of the best things about college! And if your roommate has a problem with you being gay, then cross that bridge then. But don't let it stop you from what you want.
well it sounds like you are coming out of the closet only to end up trapped in the basement. lol. if you want a roommate, get one. if you dont want one, dont get one. i will tell you its a lot easier to bond with other kids and get to know other kids when you have a roommate. everyone does stuff together and if you are only known as the strange kid that lives alone in the basement, it may be hard for you to make friends. maybe you should just take the whole gay thing out of the equation and ask yourself, "do i want a roommate or not regardless of me being gay?" then act on whatever your answer is. usually though, people dont have a single until sophomore/junior year.
Well I wouldn't be the only person with a single room. My residence is weird because the majority of its rooms are singles. But I do definitely see the social benefits from having a roommate. It's just I see it as this: colleges don't have guys and girls as roommates because they think that would cause issues. So I see it as the same with a gay guy rooming with another guy. I'm not saying that I would be inappropriate in any way, but I could envision the straight guy seeing it the same way. I know I'm over thinking all of this, as I always do, but I really don't want to have any major problems arise. And right now it looks like the only available rooms are triples, so that's 2 other people I would have to worry about. I'm certainly going to keep thinking before I make any final decisions...thanks for the advice guys!
I think you should change rooms if its what you want. Your room mate(s) may be a bit weirded out at first, but hopefully that will pass. I have to have a room mate and i am worried too. I don't want her to be homophobic. But I am sure everything will work out fine for both of us. People are more accepting than we give them credit for.
I have a similar problem and I'm just sticking with my single. I'm just going to force myself to go to my campus's GLBT center and try and make friends! Maybe just stick with your single first semester, make friends, then be roommates with them second semester? That might ensure you get a Gay-friendly roommate!
Okay so an update! I thought that I'd canceled my room transfer request, but apparently not! haha So now I'm in a triple room with 2 strangers. I e-mailed them both so that I can kind of get a feel for them before we start school. Wish me luck!
get that transfer... most people in the university are open minded. Who knows maybe the potential room mate might be curious or also in the closet. If not they might like the fact that your gay, cause that would mean he would meet more girls cause gay people are friends more often with girls, you might become good friends as he would see you as a key to get that special girl he has an eye on. Only the conservative type will have a problem, but then they can transfer out and you still get to keep the bigger room
I would say go for it and get the roommates. Random matches for freshman roommates are always a crapshoot. There is a chance, no matter what your sexual orientation, that you will not get along with whoever you are assigned to. I think that it could be a great step in your coming out process to take on this new challenge of coming out to people that may or may not accept it. I would suggest that you just be prepared for a multitude of reactions and plan out ahead of time how you will deal with each possible scenario. Also, it has been a long time since I was a college freshman, but it seems to me that even at 18 years old, people today are aware of being seen as intolerant bigots for not accepting someone just because of his/her sexual orientation. Kids are a lot more open-minded today, than they were when I was in college. This of course depends a lot on the culture of your campus (geographical location, religious affiliation, etc.) If you happen to get someone who is not open minded, just know that it is not a reflection on you and that by coming out now, you are making an investment in your future that will payoff big time as you get older. One last piece of advice: try to find an LGBT group on campus. It could be a great place to find friends who are struggling with the same issues you are.
Yeah I'm definitely going to join a LGBT group on campus, there's actually a few that I can choose from. But one of my main concerns is when to tell my roommates? Should I tell them before we move in, when I move in, or when I get to know them more? I'm straight acting, so no one ever thinks I'm gay just by meeting me.
well, some will say wait until you get a feel for them first and then see how you feel. others will say, tell them upfront especially if you are going to join lbgt stuff. basically it boils down to your comfort level and what you want to do. i woudl personally wait until i got a feel for it, but that would also mean probably lying upfront because initially guys are going to be talking about girls most likely and either you will have to lie or be silent or change the subject. then you will have to backtrack later. just depends on what you want to do.
Hey yay! I had a single room when I started uni and to be honest, I think I would have been happier if I had had roommates. I've spoken with many people who had roommates and they are really happy that they did when they first came here. They didn't love them to bits, some of them were even pretty annoying but first year is always an experience. And if you're worried that your sexual orientation is a problem... Well, it's their problem! They would be the ones to have a problem with you, not the other way around. You wouldn't have a problem with their sexual orientation, would you? Just be open-minded. Good luck to university and I hope you get great roommates!
