Hey folks! Don't get around here much lately, but do feel that the effects of joining this community are still being felt... since coming out would not have happened for me if I hadn't joined. BUT! I have a situation, and it's a first in so many ways for me. It's my first gay experience, it's my first date/relationship EVER, and it would be my first kiss too. By the advice of another member here, I joined an online dating site and, after pretty much giving up hope on it, I got a bite from someone who is a) within my age range and b) not a whore. So, we started talking and went on a few dates. First we went to a pizza place in the afternoon, just to meet up. I wasn't sure about him until he texted me telling me that he had fun, wanted to go again, and thought about kissing me but wasn't sure how I'd feel about PDA. I agreed and we ended up going to a movie. BIG MISTAKE. Very impersonal, a movie neither of us liked a whole lot and afterward we went for tea and didn't really say much. I thought it was over, but he texted me again saying that he wanted the kiss, but still wasn't sure. Before the text I was actually okay with cutting it off, thinking that the chemistry just wasn't there. Today we went one more time (I wanted to touch base and make sure that it wasn't just the impersonal nature of the movie). This time we went to a coffee house, fairly quiet and we talked. It was great! He had to go and just as we were about to go he made "the move" to kiss me and I chickened out. I can't figure out why I stopped, because I wanted to do it... has anyone else experienced this issue? Wanting to give that kiss, but not doing it... how did you overcome it? Thanks for ANY advice or support! Steve
yea, i have felt that way. you were just scared, so you backed off. no biggie. maybe you didnt feel comforttable in teh surroundings. maybe the pda was too much. its no big deal, just do it when you aer ready. obviously you weren't quite ready so dont feel bad. i never understand y people like to go to the movies on dates. it's really a waste of time because even if the movie is good, you dont get a chance to really get to know the person you are with
Of course you were nervous, it would have been your first kiss! You'll probably be more comfortable with it after another date or two since it doesn't sound like you got to know eachother terribly well on the first two. If you pull back next time and still want to kiss him, just say screw it and lunge in on your own. Or just don't pull back.
I think this would be a great opportunity to tell him exactly how you feel and why you pulled away. It would be a great way of letting him know that you're not disinterested in him, and it also could be the start of a valuable conversation about your feelings about yourself.
