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Coming Out Advice A supportive place to ask for and give advice about coming out. Includes a sub-forum for posting stories about your coming out experiences.

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Old 24th Jul 2011, 08:10 PM   #1
Literary Vagabond
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Default back to striaght?

Today I was relaxing with my friends and we started talking about realtionships. We talked about the crushes that broke our hearts, the hearts we might have broken, what we looked for in a girl, and the girls we know who might make a match. We've had conversations like this before. But for most of this week I had been pretty confused about sexuality, and had been dreading conversations like this. But the thing is I had toally forgotten.

I was not thinking about any thing of my possible (actual?) atraction for the same sex. I was Actually looking forward to going out with a girl I had once been friends with. When I got back home and checked back on EC I remebered how stressed I was before and how I was regreting not liking girls at all. and for a couple minutes after realizing that i like girls i was so happy ive actaully been dancing around lol. (is that worng, being happy im not totaly gay? I kinda feel like im betraying part of my self but only a little bit.)

Does this mean im straight, or is it just a phase of realizing i like both or i dont know, and i kinda dont care, I'm just glad im not as stressed. I'm still confused as crap and this is not helping, but I'm not as scared as i have been. Im still kinda curious, this was such a big deal yesterday, what happened? For now at least im not scared and im not stressed, what happend to all the emotial unbalance? Is it wierd that i kinda miss it?

Last edited by paper person; 24th Jul 2011 at 08:16 PM..
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Old 24th Jul 2011, 08:28 PM   #2
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Default Re: back to striaght?

Sexuality is fluid. The best thing you can do is to try to understand your sexuality and where you stand within it. If your sexuality were the same as your friends then you would all like the same exact girl for the same exact reasons. It's okay to question your sexuality. It's okay to be excited that your not gay. You are who your are and you like who you like. Just go with the flow and see what it is that interests you. If you want to go out with her then do it. You have no reason to feel bad because your excited. You could just be going through a phase. I have a lot of straight friends where in some point in their lives thought they were gay or bisexual.

From personal experience every once and a while I go through 2 very different phases back to back. I go from normal homosexual drive, to asexual/heterosexual drive where men aren't attractive at all and cleavage looks cool and bounce back to a ridiculous amount of hormones to the point were I want ever different man-which I see with my field of vision. this happens within the span of 2 weeks or so. Freaked out the first time it happen lol. I've come to terms with it. That's how I roll.
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Old 24th Jul 2011, 08:30 PM   #3
Formerly known as Nazo
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Default Re: back to striaght?

You might be more bi than you thought or you might just be semi-subconsciously rationalizing.

"If I'm not ALL gay, I can marry a woman and everything will be hunky-dory and I can hide my homosexual attractions forever!"

Only time will provide the answer, I guess.
Good luck finding the truth!
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Old 24th Jul 2011, 09:06 PM   #4
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Default Re: back to striaght?

Bi guys have an ebb and flow. It's really confusing at first. Some days I'm gay, some days I'm straight. Most of the time lean towards girls, but sometimes only have eyes for guys. It can even change back and forth within a ten minute window oddly enough. Seeing a couple in line and one second wanting the girl's boyfriend and the next wanting his girlfriend. Some bi guys never have relations with guys, so as for "ignoring" it - totally possible. Right now, I've taken the same stance many bi celebrities have without coming out as you probably heard a quote like this before: "I'm not gay, but if something comes my way and happens with a guy I'd be open to it." That's where I found I best fit. Actively pursuing girls while being open to guys since I like them too. Comically the closest I ever got to a gay bar, an LGBT event - my eyes were only on the girls, the gay part shut off. So, I'd say you sound more kinsey 3 or below which could equate bisexuality or heteroflexibility.

As to weird missing things being hectic and scary? Not really. I'm still nostalgic for a couple months where I was self destructive as hell after dealing with grief. It was a roller coaster ride of emotions never knowing what might happen next. I miss that sometimes. No idea why. But I just think people crave that feeling of not being in control.

Last edited by IanGallagher; 24th Jul 2011 at 09:14 PM..
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Old 25th Jul 2011, 01:10 AM   #5
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Default Re: back to striaght?

Go Back To Being Straight. Have A Normal Life And Leave This Crazy Crap Alone.
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