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need sex advice!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by TheLetterT, Jul 25, 2011.

  1. TheLetterT

    Regular Member

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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
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    Hey,
    I'm new to this forum so I hope this kind of question is considered appropriate/fitting.

    I'm bi and my girlfriend is straight, I'm sort of an exception to her straightness. We've been the closest friends for a few years and been having sex for a little over a year now. We both used to always be ready to go and really enjoy sex.

    For the past few months though, I haven't EVER been turned on and there's been so much drama with trying to pleasure me that it's almost unpleasent to try to initiate sex, on my side that is. (I actually started crying in the middle of sex once..) So I haven't bothered in months. My girlfriend is really turned on most of the time, and she gets multiple orgasms, and I always satisfy her, but it hurts me to see her like that and see her enjoy it so much when I can't.

    She also told me a couple weeks ago that she doesn't really enjoy the act of touching me, etc. unless I react well, which makes sense but it means that I don't want to ask her to do things for me unless I feel very confident that I will react to it, which I don't. When she's tried in the recent past, I don't enjoy being physically stimulated.

    Any advice?? What happened to my libido? I'm 18, I shouldn't be worn out yet :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
    #1 TheLetterT, Jul 25, 2011
    Last edited: Jul 25, 2011
  2. Mogget

    Full Member

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    Is it specifically her that doesn't turn you on, or are you not getting horny in general? Because those are two very different problems. If your sex drive overall is lower, you may want to talk to a doctor or a therapist. If it's more about her you have a choice. You can either stop seeing her, or you can work with her (and ideally a couples counselor) to see why you aren't into it anymore and if you can get back into it.

    Oh, and one further point of clarification? Do you not enjoy it at all, or are you just not orgasming?
     
  3. TheLetterT

    Regular Member

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    It's an overall lack of need to have sex, not just her, and I don't enjoy it at all. It's almost annoying :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: I used to see a very good therapist, maybe I will see her again and discuss this with her. Thanks :slight_smile: