I came out to a good friend two days ago. He's someone I'm close to and I chose to come out to him because I knew he'd be accepting. Our conversation went really well. He was supportive but also engaging. He asked good questions and wasn't afraid to talk about my sexuality with me. Pretty much exactly the response I had hoped for. What I can't figure out is: I don't feel great, elated, unburdened. I've read lots of stories where these are the emotions people experience when they first tell someone. I was at his house and after I left I felt a little blue, a little depressed. And, if anything, I felt a greater burden. Like, now you've started it. I'm still happy that I told him but I can't shake the feelings. And, I didn't feel this way before I told him. Has anyone else had this experience? What brought you out of it?
While it's common for people to feel relieved when they start coming out, it's not universal. Coming out is a commitment of a sort, once you've told someone else, it's like you've reached a point of no return. You can't ever be completely safe and closeted again.
yea i felt like this when i first told someone what i was going through. i thought i would feel relieved but i still felt down. i felt this way becuase now the "secret was out" and i could not hide it in my dirty little secret cabinent anymore. somoen else knew. i said it. it was real. it was out there. it was part of the acceptance that i did not want to do. you get through it by knowing that there are great people around you that still love you for you and could care less who you choose to have sex with.
It just takes time. After I came out for the first time I had anxiety attacks over it. I knew that people knew that I liked guys and that really did scare me, but then I just got over it. You came out two days ago. You're going to feel a lot of different emotions, like you're bi-polar or something. Be patient. ^_^
