To cut a long story short; I have ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). It is the reason I have hated with a passion my education to date, since it is structured in a way that feels quite frankly choking. I am very competent at my work, I am at one of the top schools in the country, however my problem is getting myself to do it, and trying to avoid the major discomfort that arises from constantly having to restrain my wayward attention. Imagine the most boring thing EVER. Sitting watching paint dry for days on end. That's how some of the most short tasks feel to me. It sounds a silly thing to complain about, but it is really uncomfortable. However when I find a subject I enjoy (such as currently psychology) I am far and away the top of the class with no effort whatsoever. This odd mix has characterized my school career. As a coping mechanism I have come to realize that I have waited until deadlines approached specifically to use the stress of the deadline to force me to do the necessary work. This, a stupid idea at the best of times, has become untenable now I am in the sixth form, since the IB (which my school does instead of A Level) is too tough to get all the work done in the time. Worse, I am forced to do subjects which I cannot enjoy and do not have a natural aptitude in; with challenging work that I am finding myself incapable of carrying out. I am considering dropping out of my school, as I am not sure if I can keep it up any longer. Other options include: Transferring to a college to take A Level, which would allow me to play to my strengths, taking distance learning (A Level) to allow me to learn at my own speed, teaching MYSELF the courses to further allow me to tailor it to my tastes, or to wait a year, and then take an open university degree. No matter what I want to leave my education with a university degree. ... and I don't know what to do. Work is piling up, and I feel I need to decide quickly. What would help me more? The option that allows me to most play to my strengths would be teaching myself, but would I have the discipline to make myself do it? I do not intend to become medicated. My ADD is a fundimental part of me and my personality, and I will not repress it. Furthermore some people get ****ed up by the drugs they give you.
Why are you "forced to do subjects which I cannot enjoy and do not have a natural aptitude in"? Surely the point of further education is to get the qualifications you need for your choice of career. If the studies bore you then it seems likely that career you need them for could bore you too. Perhaps you need to think about the direction you want to take in life. A high paying job that doesn't interest you will not be so satisfying as a more moderate paying job doing something you enjoy and find interesting. You'll spend about half your waking hours at work so it really should be something you enjoy. So maybe you need to consider what subjects you are studying and why. If they are not going to get you to where you want to be then it could be worth changing to subjects of more relevance and interest. Moving to a college that does A Levels would be good if you are changing subjects anyway, as it's a fresh start. With your ADD I am not sure that distance learning would work for you. I think having to work at the pace that the college or university defines for the course would get you to the right stage at the right time batter than trying to pace yourself. Plus you have the interaction with other students which is better than being at home on your own a lot of the time. Please don't just drop out. If you are smart enough to be doing A-levels or equivalent you should be aiming for a career with prospects, and not get stuck in dead-end jobs.
With the IB, some subjects are prescribed to me. Those are largely the ones I have problems with. Hence the issue. My choice of career is likely to be something to do with psychology, possibly in the area of hypnotherapy and stage hypnosis. Psychology at university has no required subjects, hence my 6th form is more qualifying for university rather than directing my subject choice. If I end up doing something to do with hypnosis then I am already capable; I have been studying hypnosis for around seven years, and recently I have become very accomplished at it. It really is my passion, I spend much of my time studying it. There is no further study I need to complete (except perhaps a hypno-psychotherapy course to train me in therapy techniques) to be competent, or even above average (with all modesty). However I do require some qualifications to prove to clients that I am competent, and also it is very doubtful that I could EVER do therapy before I am at least twenty-five, as I would not be trusted. Hence I wish to get a degree, and work from there, seeing what comes up in my area of interest, which is hypnotic phenomena specifically, and psychological phenomena more generally. That is a very good point, and one I have been considering. There is no chance of me just dropping out, I assure you.
Im not sure what to suggest...other than that you could use the thought of the future to deal with the present? nothing lasts forever =]
Do you have to finish high school? You could go straight to Uni or whatever its called and just do the course you need to get your future job.
