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Mom not accepting it.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Gleeko0, Jul 27, 2011.

  1. Gleeko0

    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Brazil
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    /!\This is long..../!\

    This is it...My family FINALLY Figured out, including grandpa knows, and probably some other people appart my Dad.

    And one thing has been going from bad to worse..Mother doesn't support me, or help. She is literally screwing up even more. She doesn't accept that i like guys too she thinks its some kind of mental issue and completely rejects it, i am disgusted to say that my mother is pretty homophobic, she uses therms like "aberration" and that hurts me deeply..i don't even know if i can call that woman my mother anymore, i guess am the one rejecting her now and i'm hating it even more, even thought she doesn't accept it she still loves me but i honestly don't give a shit anymore. I don't know what to do, i don't know how to avoid this..this made me depressive and i'm getting extremely agressive againts any homophobic remarks or comments, i guess this is getting me paranoid, because of all the stress i passed and now receiving this kind of "acceptance" from who gave birth to me. I wonder how is it going to be if i eventually get a boyfriend?

    And what makes me rage even more are arguments like "This is something from your mind", "you need treatment", this was the end for me. And i was pretty much ridicularized today, my brother got some pretty pornographic magazines and mom got a couple of them and said "Hey son, look at this, aren't these girls nice?"

    I almost felt like killing someone, for real.

    (↑↑↑ this, i am not bothered by the girls or the magazine but the ignorant idea that having homosexual feelings is a sickness and has a "cure"...i guess thats the cure she was talking about, and i am almost destroying my keyboard letters right now)

    I need help, i can't take this anymore...What should i do??! How should i react to this? My strongest arguments seems useless with her! She is diven on deep ignorance man!
     
  2. bryan176

    Full Member

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    Don't worry brother I am in the same situation except its with my Father, What I have been doing is giving him time to accept me and notice that I am still the same son he has just discovered a little bit more about myself. I would recommend that she Reads the book gay parenting Its an excellent Novel about how parents can accept gay and lesiben children have her read that it may help open the door. I think thats the title not sure. I wish you the Best of luck I will always be here for you brother.
     
  3. acd92

    Full Member

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    Awww....well first just know that everyone here at EC will always be here for you to vent! This site is actually quite wonderful for that, I've discovered. My own situation I'm dealing with is kind of similar: I came out to my mom in early June, and she initially completely dismissed it, saying, "YOU?! No, no, you could never be one of them..." Later, though, she asked me, "well, then, if you like girls and guys, why can't you just like girls and make your life easier; you're choosing a difficult road." This induced a facepalm. She went from this, though, to completely ignoring the matter; we don't really talk about it at all and I doubt we'll ever talk about it ever again, unfortunately. Little things have come up though, such as her asking "what makes a guy cute to me?" (awkward)- also pointing out random guys on television and asking me if they're cute...(also awkward).

    So, my point is, I empathize. It is really, really hard to sit through ridiculing and (because there's no other word for it) ignorance. You really do have my deepest sympathies. The best you can do at this point is try to calmly explain your viewpoints, that this is not an illness or something that can be treated, that this is just who you are and it won't change just because of some pornographic magazines <<that's really a good one. Calm explanations may be your best allies for right now, but if you ever need to scream and shout, like I said, all of us at EC are here!

    :slight_smile:
     
  4. gagaforgals

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Orlando,Florida
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    When my father first found out he thought he could smack the lesbian out of me...well upon many attempts of hitting and yelling he finally gave up.He doesnt want a lesbian around his precious little angels and so he pretends he never found out and has band anything with an ounce of homosexuality in it.Everyday he brings up things like "When you find a husband." or "You'll understand when you snap out of it."...so on and so forth.I feel sorry that I disappointed him but I wont live my life for him anymore.
    I am glad to say that I have the support from my mother,lesbian aunt,gay uncle,my friends,my cousin and even my father's wife.I wish that everyone can find someone to help them feel more comfortable and support who they really are.No matter what people should feel loved.