Bisexual question

On a dating site I am now listed as straight.

On dates girls became antsy and seemed to watch me carefully/judgmentally.

Gay guys on sites stopped directly after mentioning that I'm bi.

So, yeah, there is that to it. I'm now one of the bi guys who is unsure if I'll ever get involved with a guy since I lean more towards girls. It's... like X-Men First Class said: "even if tomorrow people accept mutants, my big feet and your blue skin will never be deemed as beautiful." Hope that changes soon though, because being bi is just as real as everything else.

 

Yeah, biphobia in the gay community is a real and present problem. It's one of the reasons I don't like Dan Savage. But it's getting better.

 

Well I could see how that could be an issues that people would worry about but it really in my opnion should come down to how secure you make them feel. I mean if they know you are Bi from the start and they seem worried discussing it with them is going to go a long way to to but them at ease. If you choose to tell them later on then you might have to explain that just because you are bisexual its not like you are going to up and leave them at the drop of a hat. Really for me things tend to be as big a deal as you make them. But if you make the person feel secure and wanted then no it should not hinder you when it comes to dating.

 

I think it depends on the individual, everyone(gay, straight, bi, etc.) goes into a relationship with the risk that their significant other may eventually cheat on them or leave them for someone different. I think it really depends on the person, everyone is different.

Also what bibliophile said about security, that is important as well, for instance, my boyfriend is straight, he knew I was Bi before we started dating and he was never really concerned about me leaving him for another girl, especially now when I am more actively bisexual (frequent sexual encounters with other girls) he knows that I love him and plan to spend the rest of my life with him so he is even more secure with the fact that I am Bi.

 

The answer is - sometimes. I've experienced both, although straight men try to be 'open' about it...until they find out that my beig bi does not mean they're going to get a free girl on girl show anytime they want.

It all depends on the person. Some people don't care, and some people get paranoid and self-conscious, or think you're not 'serious' because you're bisexual. At the end of the day, the right person won't care, and you don't want to be with the wrong person anyway.

Also, sidenote...as a bisexual woman I am INCREDIBLY turned on by the thought of two guys getting it on, as I am equally for a guy and a girl, or a girl and a girl, so dating another bisexual for me was like, AWESOME.

---------- Post added 28th Jul 2011 at 02:51 AM ----------

Oh, and cheating is cheating is cheating. My response when a woman said, "what if you leave me for a man?" was, "what if you leave me for another woman?" Same thing for straight boys who said similar things.

 

I always said, maybe because I hadn't really thought about it and was being stupid, that I would never date a bi guy. My reasoning was stupid. It was because a few bi people I know have cheated in the past on their partners, boyfriends and girlfriends and because it was with another sex, their argument was that it wasn't technically cheating or whatever. Also the fact I assumed it meant they were more likely to cheat anyway. That was my partly uniformed biased opinion. I realise now its pretty stupid to think that way. If someone is a cheater, they're a cheater regardless of their sexuality.

There is also the worry for me that, I remember when I considered myself bi, sometimes I'd find guys more attractive, and other times I'd consider girls to be more my thing. My worry is that if I were dating a bi guy, he'd also go through those phases and not want to be with me then.

The guy I've just started seeing is bi, and although we're not dating yet, I've still broken my rule. As long as he cares about me and finds me attractive, I couldn't care less what his sexuality is.

 

I think what you said there really outlines it, "a cheater is a cheater."

Now, of course sometimes people look at other people. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years. Do I miss being with girls? Hell yes. I also miss begin with other guys, and I'm sure sometimes my boyfriend misses being with other girls too. It's natural to look at/lust after other people sometimes. I always feel like, in the end, love makes the difference. I think (in my experience) most bisexual people who are, in fact, bisexual instead of bar-sexual, do not have the opinion that it isn't cheating if it's with another sex. A good thing to do is establish stuff like that in the beginning of a relationship.

 

I've heard people say they wouldn't date someone whose bi because of running off with the same/opposite sex or whatever and it really irks me. Just because you like both genders doesn't mean you're more likely to cheat or whatever. Because then you can be straight and date a person of the opposite sex and think 'I don't want to date them just because they may cheat on me with another woman/man', it's like people mind more if a bi person cheats than if straight or gay people do.

I watched a programme where a woman said she wouldn't date a bi guy (the topic came up because her friend was) and she said "because I know that he's probably had a dick in his mouth." I found this quite funny, and I guess it's a better reason than "he may cheat.", but the latter is more common.

 

That's one of the main reasons I'm afraid to come out. If I come out, girls won't be interested because they'll be like "oh he like guys now" and guys won't be interested cause I still like girls. It's a complicated thing, but it's completely ridiculous and unjustified. Just because we like both genders doesn't mean we're more likely to cheat.

 

he's almost delightfully hypocritical.

Snails & Oysters: Dan Savage is Biphobic | People, Celebrities, Actors & Profiles Of Gay & Bisexual Men In Movies, TV Shows & Music | AfterElton.com

 

I like to think of biphobia as a helpful warning flag: If somebody refused to date me because I have the potential to be attracted to both sexes, that means they're narrow-minded and I wouldn't want to date them anyway.

 

My girlfriend is bisexual. I'm not. No big deal there. I guess some people get all worried, but it's because they don't understand bisexuality.

I don't worry at all because I know bisexuality doesn't mean anything except who you're attracted to. Everything else attached to it is just stereotypes.

And let me just say that I think it's unfortunate that they gay community perpetuates stereotypes about bisexuals because gay people get all offended when we're stereotyped by straight people. And isn't that the same damn thing?

BUT, I have also had bisexual people assume that because I'm gay, I hate on/stereotype bisexuals. Which isn't true either!

You know what happens when you assume... :lol:

 

I have to say that sometimes I get afraid to tell gay people I am bisexual, because the majority of gay people I have met have been very aggressive towards me. However, since I started going on EC I have been so reassured by all the wonderful people on here that I'm not afraid anymore! This really is a wonderful community.