Body image

Cocoa butter will get rid of the stretch marks. It will take a little time, but it works.

As for losing weight...eat healthy, exercise a few times a week, maintain your metabolism by eating six times a day (3 regular sized meals with 3 small snacks in between), cut out the junk food and soda, drink ice water (each glass burns 150 calories).

 

Yes, there are creams out there that will (overtime) get rid of your stretch marks. As for the weight goes, your doc says not to go below 170lbs but you want to go down to 135lbs again... maybe you can compromise and just maybe go down to the 150 range and you won't look sickly and maybe you won't feel fat either...

A lot of us think negatively about our body image, I know I do!

Good luck

 

Instead of just trying to lose weight, you should focus on dropping bodyfat while increasing muscle mass. Adding muscle is effectively gaining weight, but muscle gain will somewhat 'fill in' the space that is left once the fat is gone, reducing the visibility of stretch marks and loose skin quite a lot.

Additionally muscle will greatly counter any gaunt or sickly appearance, on the body atleast. On the face it's usually just a case of people not being used to a thinner you.


Also, stretchmarks are very common on males just because of quick growth, especially around the thighs and butt. I've got some, and I've even seen porn stars with them. They aren't that big of a deal.

 

Well first of all, ur not fat! Secondly, if u drink sodas or coffee frequently everyday replace it with water or juice or something else. I lost 5 pounds in 3 weeks just by cutting out sodas everyday!!

---------- Post added 29th Jul 2011 at 07:23 AM ----------

 

There are definitely creams out there that will get rid of the stretch marks. Don't bum yourself out. You can loose the weight!

 

It's not the weight or the stretch marks that are the problem. It's your own perception of how you look and the expectations you set for yourself as to how you should look. That's where the problem lies.

I'm saying this because I can relate COMPLETELY to how you're feeling. I'm older, and may have a different body type from you, but I'm 5'11 and I'm hovering these days at around 185lbs. I'd love to get down to 175, but that just doesnt seem to be happening. I got to be as heavy as 227lbs, and even at that I don't think I looked too bad, but I wasn't happy with my appearance, and I know wasn't as healthy as I could be.

And even today, I look at myself without my shirt on and I think my chest is a little flabby and 'pointy', and I have a little bit of a roll around my middle. I'm far from perfect. But remember where we get our idea of perfect from... underwear ads and TV shows and movies. The guys we see in those images represent the tiniest fraction of the male population in terms of their appearance it is rediculous. It's unreasonable to expect to look like that, so we need to stop comparing ourselves.

What helps is that I have a partner who thinks I'm sexy. And that's not based entirely on how I look, but also on what's in my brain, and in my heart. He loves me, and tells me all the time how great I look. And a lot of the time I think he's lying. I certainly did at first. But now, once in a while, I can honestly say "ya, I do look pretty good."

So no, neither you nor I will be chosen to be the next underwear model for Calvin Klein. However, I'm convinced that there's a guy out there who's going to meet you, and love you, and think you're pretty hot stuff, just the way you are.

 

You'd be suprised what losing weight could do for your appearance. I've also got stretch marks from obesity, and there's all sorts of things you can do to get rid of 'em. With some effort, you'll eventually get to the point where you're presentable sexually. Hell, even I'm still working on losing the last ten pounds.

 

Hugs tight Hun xo

 

Yes! And if you start exercising, you will FEEL about 1000 times better than you do now! Exercise gets all sorts of feel good brain chemicals going! If you need help and/or motivation, join us here: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/health-well-being/47802-ec-workout-thread-shared-motivation.html

You can do it, my friend! (*hug*)

 

Going along Jim's line, I think that, before doing anything to modify your body, you should try and find out if there is any underlying reason why you feel that way. From what you have described, I don't think you are that much overweight, and stretch marks are hardly enough to make someone feel "grotesque". The main problem would be that, after achieving your health and diet goals, you might still not be perfectly comfortable with your looks. Therefore, I would suggest sticking to objectively healthy goals (and consulting a physician about that) and maybe work a little on your psychological self-image at the same time.

 

THIS. I can completely relate to how you feel. I've battled anorexia on and off (mostly on) since I was 15. I've sort of come to understand that my perception of myself simply isn't reality. logically i know that i am not fat, but it is still what i see in the mirror and i am always going to want to be thinner. i only look "normal" to myself when i am significantly underweight, at which point i'm still miserable because i'm physically sick. you mentioned seeing a psychiatrist, but you might want to look into seeing someone who specializes in eating disorders or body image distortion. i don't think just losing weight is going to resolve how you feel about yourself. it's an awful feeling, i'm sorry

 

I agree with Jim, Bowie, and redstormrising. If you still feel fat at 5'11'' and 130 lbs, this sounds alarmingly similar to an anorexic or bulimic type of mindset. And your comment about thinking about cutting your stomach is also worrisome. Have you brought these thoughts up with your psychiatrist?

 

Shea butter GREATLY reduces stretchmarks. Bio oil works but it's expensive and you have to keep using it.

Okay, I SO get where you are coming from. I hate my body, so much. Sometimes I think about just clawing at myself until the fat comes away. The thing is, I'm not even that fat, maybe 20 pounds overweight, and I have been told repeatedly that it suits me since I have such an hourglass figure, but I get where you're coming from. Sometimes it doesn't matter what other people tell you, just how you feel. All I can suggest is eating healthily and reasonable amounts if exercise. Don't go over board. A few years ago I worked out two hours every day, followed by an hour of yoga and only ate one small bowl of brown rice and broccoli a day.

You mentioned that you're seeing a psychiatrist, and that's good, but I've noticed in my experience that psychologists deal better with deep seated emotional issues. Of course, I am just one person and if your psychiatrist is working for you then awesome! Anyway, I think it would be healthy for you to discuss some of your body issues with a therapist, because this amount of self-hate is harmful . At the end of the day, remember that you're human; that we all are, and that most of us have flag and stretch marks that we hate. Try to accept yourself, and live a healthy lifestyle. X

 

I think seeing a psychologist might be good for you. As your title suggests, it is your body imagine not your body that is the problem. There is a lot of stigma surrounding mental health especially about men and our body images, since body image has historically been thought of as a women's problem and so I think it is really awesome that you are embracing your problem head on.

Lexington often offers the advice to people still coming to terms with their orientation or gender to look in a mirror every day and tell themselves "I am gay" or "I am bi" or whatever until it seems natural. I think you might consider doing something like that. I found that such a strategy worked for me. For years I had a horrific body image. Not surprising since I kind of look like a hobbit. At 5'4" I am shorter statistically than 96% of grown men. I have always been a bit over weight. And I am very hairy. But overtime I forced myself to walk around in my boxers at home alone, and take off my shirt at the beach, and not turn away when changing my shirt in front of my room mates. And it worked. I am now proud to say I look like a hobbit. (It helps that I love LOTR.) While I am not totally satisfied with my weight, my approach to changing it is much healthier. It also helped me see beauty in everyone. Once I had gotten past my obsession with what society thought was beautiful, I began to realize that the human form itself is naturally beautiful. You only need to look for it.

 

I agree. Sodas are empty calories, meaning there is no nutritional value in them. I don't drink sodas. I work out 6 days a week and eat healthy. I am 5'11" and 145 pounds. I went to my doctor finally, I don't believe in seeing a doctor unless necessary, but I was kind of pushed to go if you know what I mean. I got a clean bill of health. Everything was perfect. Just work out and watch what you eat.