yes bromance. I have really good freind let just call him A. A is probably my best friend, and if not then he sure is a really good one. I sleep and chill at his house, I tell him all(most) of my problems and he comes to me in return. I went to my first concert with him and come to him with all my lady troubles. We stay up to 3am on the phone talking about everything under the sun. In short we're close. Recently I've been pretty down, stuggling with coming to terms with being bisexual. A being the great freind he is has noticed and ive told him that ive been bothered by other stuff and he's has conferted me a lot and ive been to his house a lot this summer. I really want to tell him. I feel like im lying to him because we tell eachother so much, plus i think it would be good to talk to some being i have not told anyone.When i aksed him if we we're bros forever even if i did someting really bad ( i had told him i had thought abiut self harm, whichis untrue). he reassured that i we;re bros forever i could tel himanything and that if anything he had doen stupider things. But this i a problem if a different nature and i dont know how he would react. I've been meaning to tell him and have made hundreds of plans in my head. But i havnt been alone with him to tell him (i dont want other ppl knowing) plus i think i would chicken out anyway. also i dont want him potentiall outing me to other people. i know he respects me and all but i would not be suprised if he slipped up. A is a really touchy person and i mean really touchy. He gives hugs to evreyone and back massages to who ever is at his house. I on the other hand am not, just as a person who gets weirded out when any one touches me without my consent, and i have accidently punched A in the face sevral times becasue of how i flip out. I;m starting to open myself up a bit to other people just as a genral rule and a hope to be a less akward person. I still owe him the privialage of giving me a massage, which would be really good with all this stress going on. I just got back from sleeping over at his house with two other freinds and there was a lot of touching ( between the other 3) and i had to share a matress on the floor with him as well. I dont want him to think like im atrracted to him or anything because im not. He's just a loud funny touch emotinal sort of bro and i dont want to loose him as a freind, because if i did i would be a reck. Does any one have any advice or stories about coming out to close guy freinds? How do i not mess up somthing i would nto be able to live without, my best freind?
My best friend in high school was male, and a conservative Christian to boot. I came out to him over fb, and he was totally fine with it. Said I was like a brother to him and nothing could ever change that.
My only advice to you is that most of us tend to over analyze things. It sounds like this is one of those time. Your friend "A" sounds like an awesome person and someone who you will be close with for a very long time no matter what wrench you throw into the gears. We often do not give our friends and family members the credit they deserve. Trust me when I say you will be pleasantly supprised if you open up to him.
One thing I've noticed is that if people are secure in who they are, something like this won't matter. He'll still be touchy with you, he'll just know you better. He'll probably ask if you were ever attracted to him but just tell him no it would be too weird.
This sounds A LOT like what I have with my best friend. Pretty much everything, including him being very touchy and all that (really, it feels like you're describing him), and how you feel about telling him. One day we almost had to share a very small mattress, and I was dreading it because of how he'd feel about it when I eventually came out to him. I think I used to feel exactly what you're feeling now. I'll write a bit of my coming out story here in case you want to read it (reading stories helped me get the courage to do it). I told him I was gay in January last year. I had been looking for some time alone with him for a while, but whenever we had the time, I completely chickened out. I'd decided to tell him before 2009 ended, and I was driving him to his house one night, and the moment was perfect, but I felt this horrible lump in my stomach and I just couldn't do it. He noticed, though, and asked me a few times what was wrong. I didn't tell him that night or before New Year. On January 2nd, I went with him to get some tacos, and when we got in my car I didn't start the engine. I started talking about a secret he had once told me, intending to lead the conversation to my own secret, but then he talked for two hours about it (haha, literally). Meanwhile I tried to gather up the courage to tell him... but every time I was close, he started talking again. Eventually, I told him, "We'd better get going... but before we do, there's something awkward I need to tell you... (then a couple of minutes of 'it's really hard to say it' and 'come on, say it' and him smiling) OK. You're the first person I'm telling this. I'm telling you because I really trust you, and I feel like I need to tell someone........" It all sounded rehearsed, probably because it was, haha. (more silence and 'sorry, it's not easy' and the like). ".........I'm pretty sure I'm gay". "Are you serious?" (kind of shocked I think) "Yeah." "I need to ask... I won't care either way, but... do you like me?" "No." "Oh. OK. Good." He was perfectly fine with it. We talked for another two hours maybe, and the conversation ended with a 'thanks for trusting me enough to tell me this' and a long tight hug (that he initiated, of course). We talked a bit about it the next day, and it was cool. Our friendship hasn't changed at all, except that now I can talk to him about this. We're just as close (and he's just as touchy, haha). I asked him once about his reaction and he said the only thing he'd been afraid of was that I might be attracted to him, because then he wouldn't know how to treat me, but apparently he believed me when I told him I wasn't. I've got to say, I didn't feel the huge relief that many say you'll feel when you tell someone. But now that he knows, being able to talk about it to someone other than myself feels amazing, and I don't feel I'm lying to him anymore. I don't know how your friend will react, but I think most really close friends tend to be able to see you as the whole person you are and not just focus on the sexual part of it. Sorry for the terribly long reply, but I thought some of the details might be interesting/useful to you. I hope it helps at least a little. And I hope when you get the courage and the oportunity to tell him it goes great.
When you're this close with this friend of yours, I highly doubt he will cut you out from his life by this one simple thing you tell him. Trust your gut feeling and have faith in him. It'll be fine. When I came out to my best friend he was totally cool with it. Nothing really changed. Even when I told him I liked him, he simply said, "Well, I can't reciprocate. But if you're wondering, I'm planning to continue this friendship as usual." Some people can just be really chill with things, and that could very well be your friend! And if anyone's wondering, to this day I still flirt with him for fun, and he's completely cool with it. As long as you keep to the mindset knowing that nothing's gonna happen, it doesn't have to be awkward.
What you describe sounds eerily similar to the challenge that I am facing with my best friend, with the added bonus that I am actually in love with him. I know that this is not going to happen, though. I understand where you are coming from on the physical affection side. It is hard not to wonder if he will misinterpret it. Still I think there is a very different mindset for people like our best friends who are such physically affectionate people rather. Because we are so conscious of physical interaction, I think we attribute a lot more importance to it than they do. When I lean on his shoulder, when I invariable am falling asleep watching movies with our friends it is very volitional. I have to think is this alright, will he be weirder out. On the other hand, he has no problem just slumping over on me. The point is that he probably doesn't worry or think to much about being physically close to you regardless of your orientation. Finally, I will add, he sounds like an amazing friend, and I think you should trust in your friendship, as I am trusting in mine, that he will always care about you.
^^^^ doubt it, we have had many talks about all of his problems and crushes on several girls. and he pretty physically affectionate to everybody. i know im an emotianly sipportive freind but highly doubt he likes me more that bros. and thats all i could ask.
I have a similar friend. I gave him a coming out letter and he didn't mention it for a few weeks. I spent the whole time panicking thinking that he had a problem with it since he didn't mention. I eventually asked him why he hadn't said anything. He just started laughing and said ' because I don't give a crap!'. He found it really funny that I had been panicking about it. He actualy asked me if I found it weird when he was 'touchy'. I told him that I didn't care so he still acts the same around me.I'm sure your friend will be fine with it since ye are so close!
Similar situation here. I'm very close with one of my best mates - always cracking jokes with him. And we're always doing the fake flirting thing. It's an ongoing joke in my group that we act like an old married couple. That's one of my concerns - I'm worried that by coming out it could make things...awkward. I don't have any interest in him that way, just don't want to to lose the joking and friendly banter . So yeah sorry, not really advice as such, just saying I'm in a similar situation.
to ^^^^^^ good to know im not alone in this. if you do anthing please keep me posted and i will do the same. my friend had last week of so we chilled alot but he has ot go back to work, so im not sure if ill have a chance to ack on any of this advice or any of my thoughts.
