Depression sucks...help?

(*hug*)

Feeling like your friends aren't really your friends is a common symptom of depression. Which isn't to say it's not true, just that feeling more isolated than you really are is pretty common for depression sufferers. And sometimes people don't realize that you want more effort from them than they're putting forth. Talk to your friends, tell them at least some of what's going on, and see you they respond.

I know the feeling. I was dumped by a boy I was head-over-heels in love with as I was coming out. It made the whole thing seem so pointless. But here's the thing, coming out will, in the long run, benefit you greatly. It means no longer having to hide a part of who you are, no longer worrying about what people might think, all of which can make depression worse.

If being on EC has taught me anything, it's that not everyone around you is nearly as happy as they seem. People everywhere feel lonely and isolated, and fake feeling good about their lives. Just like you're doing. And again, feeling like your friends probably hate you is more likely to be a symptom of your depression than an accurate idea of reality. If people are willing to hang out with you, it's very unlikely that they hate you.

(*hug*) It's bad enough that depression eats away at you from the inside, but to have people around you eating away from the outside.... Learning not to listen to the opinions of others is hard, and is best done with the assistance of a therapist or counselor. Which, really, is the best way to handle all your other problems, too.

See a therapist is my first piece of advice. My other is to call a suicide helpline the next time you feel suicidal. You're in the US, so the two hotlines I can recommend are the National Suicide Prevention Careline (1-800-272-8255) and Trevor, which is specifically for LBGT youth (1-866-488-7386). Don't call Trevor late at night, in my experience they have their worst counselors then.

 

The first thing that you need to hear is that there are people out there that love and care for you. However if you do not love and care for yourself that doesn't matter at all. No one else can ever really make you feel good or bad about yourself. They can only add to what you already feel and even then you have to let them. So if you don't like yourself and it seems you don't, no one can make you feel better. What I suggest is finding a good therapist to get these feeling sorted.

Secondly please don't take a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Seek help before this gets worse. I may not know you but the important thing is that people here my self included want to see you get better. Hang in there and keep you chin up. Get the help you need.

Third in this list is that you seem to have things you don't like about yourself physically. If you have a problem with your weight see a doctor and see if you are indeed over a healthy weight for your height. If you are work on losing that weight in a safe and healthy manner. Not only will exercise improve how you see yourself but it boost you mood to. Also a proper diet can help you feel better. If you have an issue with your appearance then learn to make your looks work for you. Learn how to dress and style yourself so you feel beautiful. But remember the key thing only do any of this IF YOU feel that way, never change for anyone but yourself.

My last and final advice is about your relationship issues. You will find someone in time. But if you don't love yourself you cannot find or accept love from another. Get yourself to a healthy place and you will find that the confidence you gain will draw people to you.

(*hug*) Keep your head up and hang in there. You can make it and more importantly you can thrive.

 

It can be tough to pull oneself up by one's bootstraps, and go out there and kick ass at life. And that's at the best of times. Right now, it sounds like you may be grappling with depression, to boot. Not just "I'm not happy about my life right now", but "I feel like I'm under a cloud all the time, and I'm finding it hard to fake it anymore".

Given this, I'd say the first move would be to see your doctor. If you actually do have clinical depression, the best move would be to help get that under control. You technically can run the race with a broken ankle, but it's much better to get that fixed before you set out, capice?

I've been there. And yeah, it sucks rocks. Even if your life "isn't that bad". Iit's like operating with a huge weight on your shoulders, where even basic things like getting up, and going to work, and chatting with people, can take a lot more effort than they ever should. And once I crawled out, it's amazing how much easier everything seemed. So definitely look into that. It may mean therapy, or medication, but it's best to get a handle on that first.

The only other point I'll make is this. I don't know if you're actually fat, or ugly, or whatever else. But it's not like fat/ugly people don't have friends, or don't get laid, or don't get into long-term relationships. I'm pretty fat, and I ain't much to look at (the "gargoyle" thing isn't that far off), but I've managed to do OK.

Lex

 

I also battled depression and I came out on the other side. It was really hard at the time. I had many of the same feelings as you. I hate myself and I could not imagine why anyone would like me. I wondered why my friends bothered to hang out with me and exactly like you I felt I was just tagging along in their fun -- they put up with me because they had to. It wasn’t until I got over my depression, that I realized that all of these feelings were because of my depression. This is really hard, but you have to take a step back and recognize that these feelings are symptoms of depression. I also realized that I felt distant from my friends because I was going through all of these feelings and I felt I couldn’t share them.

Still, I think you have taken the first courageous step to the healing process and that is recognizing that you have a mental health issue. I found that I tried to muddle through day to day, and I could do that, but it did not fix my problem in the long run. I survived but just barely.

PLEASE, see your doctor or a mental health professional. It really helped me and it was amazing to finally be able to discuss all these feelings with another person. If you have any questions about how to do this, we are all here to help you. Just ask.

One last thing *big bear hug* Remember all you have to do is ask.

 

I am currently working through depression, amoung other things. One thing that has been helping me is being able to talk to one of my friends about it. My doctor started me on an anti-depression med today and gave me a referral for a psychologist. I would strongly suggest at least visiting your doctor, and talk about options, before you head down the self-injury/suicidal path as well (if you aren't on it already, but if you are, SEE YOUR DOCTOR ASAP.) I also have had a bout not too long ago with cutting. Doctors, psychologists and people like that are trained to deal with crisis situations as well as depression, so they will be able to help. I know it may seem like a big step, but it WILL help.
And as always, EC is here for you. Feel free to PM me (or the advisors) if you need to talk or have questions.

 

Quick note, regular members can't be PM'd except by staff. But feel free to come to any of us.

 

Hey, first off (*hug*).

I know that it seems like hell right now, but with the right help you can put all of those feelings in the past. I went through the same thing.

My home life is far from happy, and high school wasn't very fun either. Let's face it, for many high school is hell. All of the hormones and immature behavior is a recipe for disaster. People can say that what your going through is temporary, and to look on the bright side, but when your going through clinical depression "temporary" can be a period of years. It doesn't matter how you became depressed, the only way to cope is with clinical help.

I felt just like you did for a very long time, and when I began having thoughts of suicide I knew I didn't want to continue living like that. I told my mom I was clinically depressed. She brushed it off just like you say your parents will, but I didn't stand for it. I printed her out the definition and symptoms of clinical depression, slapped em on the table and said "look, I'm miserable and I need help!" It was very dramatic, but my emotions were very real.

I started a low dose of antidepressants, and counseling to talk about my family and social life. The counseling was very helpful. My counselor even brought my family in and solved a lot of issues that were causing me to be so depressed. The medication definitely helped too. They completely eliminated the debilitating migraines that I would get, and of course balanced my emotions.

I know how hard things must be for you, talk to someone that can help you and surely things will become better with time. (*hug*)