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Missed an opportunity?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Blakers19, Jul 30, 2011.

  1. Blakers19

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    So last week, I got back from a three week long camp I was at for my school's debate team. While there I made friends from all over the country. One guy in particular, however, really stood out. Although he does claim to be straight and his Facebook says he has a girlfriend, his other friend informs me that they are more like "close friends" - he admits they don't ever have sex (he claims it's because she doesn't want to) and his blog is filled with posts about how he feels like the relationship is empty. I've also been informed that a few years ago, he "used" to be gay. Which, I know is not possible. Either he was confused at that point in time or decided to go back into the closet. Also, gay porn has been found in his computer history (as well as straight porn) numerous times. Plus, this guy's mannerisms all scream "I'm not straight," but not in the stereotypical way either. Things like his dress, the way he walks, talks, his hand motions, the way he sits, pretty much everything about him.

    Anyway, I first started suspecting that he may like me on the bus back from a "field trip" of sorts. Basically, he was acting like an idiot and screaming gibberish, but we were sitting together and he shoved his face into mine for about 20 seconds, seemingly just trying to annoy me. On the last night of camp, we were sitting in the giant auditorium having just finished watching the final round of the camp tournament and were listening to the awards and closing ceremonies. Every time I would look over at him, he would be looking at me as well -- but would immediately look away. One of his other friends that I was sitting closer to noticed this as well, so I know it wasn't just in my head. Later that night, we were all hanging out in his room, and he seemed to make every effort to sit right next to me no matter what. It seemed like he would do whatever he could to position it to where his foot was basically on top of mine as well. At one point he started playing footsies with me, so I look over at him and laugh, and so does he, but he keeps doing it for a while too. All this time I'm not doing anything to stop this, but I'm also not advocating it either. Anyway, as it's the last night and all, we all get up to leave to go back to our rooms at curfew, and naturally everyone is hugging goodbye. It seems like he hugged me substantially longer than anyone else - I actually had to break it so that A) it wouldn't be too obvious to the people around us and B) I wouldn't cry, lol. The next morning, I did get to hang out with him for a couple more hours before his shuttle to the airport arrived. Basically a repeat of the night before happened, although I did let the hug go on a bit longer this time as it really was the last time we'd see each other (at least until the season starts - we're in the same area so we'll be competing together frequently, I'm sure).

    Anyway, I'm pretty much over the "I just want to look at hot guys" stage, and am really ready for a relationship, especially after having been led on by my straight best friend (who I was, at the time, in love with), so I know how good it feels to be in something like that. I can't help but wonder - did I maybe miss an opportunity here? Was I just too scared to respond to his obvious flirting? Or am I over analyzing, and is all of this in my head? Bleh.
     
  2. ICTOAUN

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    this boy obviously seems interested in you. also sounds like u may be interested in him :wink: ! you said youll be competing often with him.. next time you see him, dont be afraid to play footsies back, haha. good luck!
     
  3. Lexington

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    Hard to tell. The problem with situations like this is that it's easy to dismiss the negative signs ("he's got a girlfriend") and focus on the positive ones ("I heard they totally don't have sex"). I'm not saying it's incorrect - just that it's tough to really tell.

    Nothing wrong with doing a bit of fishing, though. If you're not FB friends yet, make sure you are. If you are, start a couple conversations. Say you enjoyed hanging out with him, and you hope to spend some more time with him soon.

    Lex
     
  4. Blakers19

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    Thanks -- the fact that Facebook says he has a girlfriend is what kept me from actively pursuing him throughout the duration of the camp. Had it been clear that he DIDN'T have a girlfriend I would have gone for it... Like you said, it's just hard to tell, lol.
     
  5. ballin1718

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    all the gay signs (gay porn on computer, manarisms, used to be gay)...if you coulda got him alone you shoulda just kissed him XD. but i wouldnt say you missed an opportunity because he'll be in your area. if your really bold invite him on fb to hang out sometime, and I'm sure he'd 100 percent be down.

    hahaha good luck, im jealous ! =P
     
  6. Blakers19

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    Haha, well, he's not in my area per se. He's about 5 hours away by car, but that's in the region of competition :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: But some of my other friends from camp (including him) are planning on meeting up at a Six Flags at some point in the future - so maybe I'll get a chance to figure it out for sure there. And I did have him alone - a lot, actually, lol. But like I said the reason I didn't "go for it" is that he has a girlfriend, lol. Number one, that makes it hard to determine whether he really is straight and number two, I've been through heartbreak before and I wouldn't want to subject his girlfriend to it for my own selfish desires, even if I don't know her. That's one of the worst things you can do to a person in my opinion :/