Explanation of "the proof is in the porn"

I'm not the person who came up with the concept, but it's a concept I really like, so I'll do my best.

Figuring out your sexuality can be a complicated thing, what with all of the many feelings we can have for people that can be construed as "attraction". Liking someone as a friend, appreciating their beauty, feeling a close connection to them--for someone who isn't familiar with the way sexual attraction works of what it is, figuring out which among such phenomena are a result of your sexual orientation can be difficult.

Now, when it comes to figuring out one's sexuality (which is the main purpose of the phrase in question), all that really matters is which sexes one is sexually attracted to. However, this isn't always easy to figure out, especially if someone's understanding of sexual attraction is limited to their own experiences, or if they are in denial. However, while it can be difficult to figure out which sexes one is sexually attracted to in the abstract sense (possibly even impossible), which sexes one is attracted to in practice is much easier to figure out and harder to deny.

For many people, the primary time when they let their true sexual attractions lead them is while utilizing porn. When someone is masturbating, their goal is an orgasm, and they are hyper-focused on achieving that goal. In such a frenzied state, they aren't going to force themselves to look at a someone of a sex they aren't sexually attracted to because "that's what right" (i.e. because they are in denial), and without the ability to over-think who they are looking at (it's hard to over-think things while horny), they can pretty easily narrow down which sexes physically arouse them. For that reason, the sexes of the people one focuses on while masturbating are a very effective indicator (possibly the most effective indicator) of which sexes one is physically attracted to, and knowing that allows someone to more easily pinpoint their sexuality.

 

^^TL;DR'ed Whatcha jerk to is whatcha attracted to (physically)

 

hm. i never thought of it like that before, but that does make sense . . .

 

He asked for the intricacies; I assumed he wouldn't want a short version.

 

This does make a little sense to me too, while at the same time explains a little too. Not just about me, but about a couple of roommates I had in university who were just horribly addicted to porn...

 

I find our visual fantasies help more than porn. For example, sorry if this is graphic lol. Lesbian porn or straight porn doesn't exactly do it for me or at least like it used to. The girl often looks at the camera breaking it or doesn't seem to like it whereas guys always seem to enjoy it and forget about the camera. Now in my mind, just visualizing Laura Vandervoort pole dancing or stripping gets me hard and horny as hell lol. So it's more internal than production value (there's even cartoon porn, still baffles me).

 

Not necessarily. A lot of lesbians enjoy gay male porn.

 

Probably not lol. But, was thinking more along the lines of bisexuality vs homosexuality. Might also be that I'm in the film (NOT porn) industry. Just gay porn has higher production value somehow. Fantasies are more in-line.

 

And sometimes the most complicated concepts are best explained in few words

 

Hm... intriguing point. I myself look at armature, solo material (i.e. someone just standing in front of a camera and showing off how hot they are) 99.9% of the time, and there's no potential for ambiguity when there's only one person in view, so that's the background I was coming from as I wrote out my explanation.

 

Don't happen to me unless I'm drunk as well.

 

The proof is in the porn?

Using this logic, I'd never fuck someone who didn't look anything like a model with ripped abs and a perfect face.

 

Ok, I've watched a small bit of porn and I really just don't like it. It's gross. But, that's just me. I am a female, and I'm less visually stimulated than men. I don't necessarily get turned on just by looking at someone. I get way more turned on watching a romantic buildup with the storyline and all that. To me the proof is that I get way more turned on watching a lesbian themed love story than a straight one.

 

I've always really been the same way too. When I first started watching porn, I found it to be absolutely ridiculous in every aspect (ie girl or guy walk in the room & says 'oh hey let's have sex' & boom! it just starts being an all-out theatrical, choreographed thing with all the cliched angles & dialogue), while at the same time, the least ridiculous, which is still pretty ridiculous, porn I could stand to watch was always lesbian porn. I just couldn't deal or be comfortable with seeing guys having sex at all. It wasn't that I was even watching all that much, but I just prefered to fantasize myself about girls in my classes or even close female friends of mine, and whenever I fantasized about being with any of them, I was also female, which was both a very relaxing & very confusing thing for me for years, but always just seemed to click in my brain in a way that just said 'this is who you really are'...

 

when i was straight porn ruined my relation ship with the man i was with it ruined mee too

 

Haha, yeah. I have even seen a couple lesbian themed films (not porn), and some of them are so horrible. They meet, then jump into bed together. I'm just like....what is going on? What the heck kind of a plot is that?? I'm a film major so I get a bit critical haha. I haven't seen a lot of porn, but I can just imagine. I just get annoyed and turn it off.

I think it's different the way guys (sometimes, not all guys) are wired though to respond to the visual stimuli. It's interesting to me, since I just don't work like that. I don't think I could jerk off to a picture of someone at all. I haven't even tried. And of course, there are some girls who might be visually stimulated like a guy. But I think in general it's just different. I've heard of way, way more guys with porn addictions, and I don't think I personally know of any girls with that issue.