My boyfriend is crazy and clingy and slightly controlling I've been with him for a very long Time and I think it's tome to get out before something happens. I just dont know how to. Any suggestions.
Ok. Um. He is jealous of any guy I talk to. He acts insecure if I don't text or call right away. He asks questions like where were you yesterday at three pm. He wants to be around me twenty four seven. And when I ask for space he freaks out.
Is this your/his first relationship? A lot of people I know act like that in their first relationship just because it's all new, it's a good feeling, and they don't want to lose it. The people that I have personally seen act like that get over it quickly - although don't take my word for it, your situation may be different. I've personally never been in your situation so I don't have any more advice to add, but others on here I am sure will be able to help more
You're not really giving examples of anything. What's "clingy" and "controlling" to one person, may be completely normal to another. Much the same, there are couples that make it with very little emotional connection to one another and other's who must be all over each other. Even if you did provide examples, we aren't in your relationship and to judge what a person "should" or "shouldn't" do is just wrong. We are all individuals and have different wants and needs. Also, it's quite simple, you need to stop messing around and leave. I may be projecting here, but my ex-bf (of 3 years) screwed around for 6 months before he finally left me. It left a much larger scar knowing he was lying for 6 months. So, don't put anyone through that. Just leave now so his healing process won't be as drawn-out. I don't mean to sound rude. But, I'm just being brutally honest here. ---------- Post added 1st Aug 2011 at 02:01 AM ---------- It sounds like you two want different things. It's really quite simple. He's not wrong nor are you wrong. You just can't give each other what the other wants.
It sounds like he's way too possessive. I couldn't imagine having to answer to someone like that. One of my friends had a bf who was like that and it didn't end well. It's best to try and get out of that as soon as possible. Either that or have a really serious talk with him. But just once and if he messes it up I would say bye. Good luck.
If he doesn't trust you, I suggest you end the relationship. It is ok to feel jealous, but if he straight out doesn't trust you then there is going to be some trouble ahead. Trust is to relationship as oxygen is to body.
Honestly, it sounds like it would be simple to get out of the relationship. Simply tell him that you aren't going to discuss where you were, who you were with, or what you were doing, that you need time to yourself. It sounds like that alone will cause him to break up, and that would be a good thing. People like you're describing are incredibly insecure... which is why they are scared to death that the person they are with will cheat on them or leave them, because at the root, they don't believe they deserve to be in a healthy relationship with a healthy person. Alternatively, they may themselves be untrustworthy and cheating, and expect that you are doing the same thing to them that they are doing to you. Either way, it's not something that's easily fixed, not without years of therapy and self-work. You don't need to stick around while he does that, and no matter what he says, it's not something he will be able to change without serious help. So... getting out of the relationship asap is a good idea. If simply telling him the above stuff doesn't work, you can just say "Look, I don't feel like this is working, and I don't think it can work. I'm sorry." Or, if that's too abrupt for you, "I feel like we need to take a break. I have no idea how long, but if or when I feel like reconnecting, I will let you know." Keep us informed on how it goes.
