Hi, I am new to this board! I am a sixteen year old girl... My Mom, Dad, and Sister are all religious Homophobes, if there were a stronger word for religious, mean homophobes I would use it! I mean they hate gays, lesbians, pansexuals, bisexuals anyone who isn't straight, or clutching a bible they hate. And to my luck, I've just discovered that I am a Lesbian! I couldn't be happier (sarcasm) Right now, my life feels like a nightmare... I feel like I've just fallen into a black hole and no matter what I do, I cannot escape. I've tried convincing myself that I am straight, I've tried, and tried but I just can't! And to make matters worse... I'm going to hell! Well... That's what I've been taught, if you're Lesbian/Gay God hates you, you are an abomination and you're going straight to the pits of Hell! Now you probably know why I am a paranoid person, I've grown up my whole life thinking that being attracted to the same sex is wrong, and that if I ever, ever even considered that I was attracted to the same sex, my place in Heaven is gone. If God really loved everyone, and he created this Earth... Then I don't think he considers Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals, etc to be an "abomination"... But then again, I only know what I've been taught :/ :bang: Anyway... I know that the majority of users on this board are probably out of the closet and has dealt with this type of stuff. How do I deal with my homophobic religious family? How do I deal with my LIFE right now! With this sick, scared, alone feeling? How do I stop worrying and get rid of my fatigue from being so afraid? And how do I deal with the prejudice comments coming from my homophobic family who cringe when they see a gay couple? I am only sixteen and am still under my parents complete control, so I am not even thinking of coming out of the closet! I am afraid of what could happen to me. But that's the problem, even when I am older I don't know if I can... But I don't want to live a lie So please, if there's any advice, or anyone who has or is going through the same problem, I'd appreciate every bit of it. Thank you! :help::help::help::help::help::help: :tears:
Ok, first of all calm down! (*hug*) I live in an extremely homophobic place to, so much so that there are absolutely NO support services for LGBT people like myself. I have several gay and lesbian friends who are open about who they are with each other & close friends but have to remain in the closet as a means to survive here. I know how hard it can be living somewhere that isn't friendly, although I'll admit that I'm not in the same situation you're in... Second of all, welcome to EC! I'm very happy you have found us & I think it will definitely be a great place for you, as many of us have been in similar situations or are going thru them now. Third, if you don't feel safe or comfortable coming out to your family, then don't! Finish school & then when you're able to support yourself, move out of the situation you're in. That way if you do decide to come out to your family, you don't have to worry about the fallout that may happen. When I came out to my mum about a week ago, I was pretty terrified of being kicked out, and it's still be hella uncomfortable being at home, even after I said something, but I know how it feels to live in a situation you can't feel you can escape. Ignore the homophobic comments they make as well. Ignorant people say ignorant things not from hatred but from lack of education. I fyour family really love you, when you eventually choose to come out, if you choose to come out to them, then they should accept you as you are, if not, that's their problem, not yours. I'm sorry if this doesn't help much tho, but I'm very willing to listen if you need to talk... (*hug*) Edit: God doesn't hate gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered people. If he does, then he's narrow-minded & petty, which means he isn't God in the first place. Second, if God hate all of us, why would He keep creating us? God loves diversity, which is why we are all different and unique. If being gay were something God didn't approve of, then none of all of us here on EC would be here! third, the Bible was written by human beings, not God. I'm pretty sure there was a little artistic license taken when people started writing this stuff down, so it's not surprising that it says things like a woman is her husband's property, it's OK to own slaves, etc. The homophobes are usually the same idiots saying their against men beating their wives & racism, but yet here they are ignoring the Bible for that stuff, but using it to justify their fear. So don't put too much stock in what the Bible says hon. It isn't a sin to be gay, anymore than it's a sin for the homophobes to be a**holes...
Hi Kiersten! Thank you so much for your post. Everything you said helped me so much! It is nice to know I'm not the only one who's a homosexual living in a homophobic life (or area) just as you said, I think it would be best for me to stay in the closet! For my well being... Even though everytime I try to keep something a secret I get found out, because I always write my feelings and things down in journal. But now that I'm analyzing my situation, maybe it's a good idea not to keep a journal... For my own well being, that way I will not slip up, and write something that I will regret writing later and then get found out. Also about the homophobic comments, you're right... I just have to try my best to ignore them. Even though it hurts to hear someone say "Ew!" about a same sex couple or to cringe at them, I have to learn to ignore the oblivion. Thanks again for your help!
First off, Welcome to EC!! I can understand how it feels to LGBT and also be Christian. God loves you the way you are. I believe that God made us different. It also sounds like that since you grew up learning that homosexuality is a sin, you are having problems accepting it. I know how hard it can be to accept yourself, I fought for years before I understood that God's love is universal. Also, before you come out you need to accept it yourself. About your family, I agree with what Kiersten said. I would wait until you could support yourself. Maybe if you have some accepting friends you could talk to them. Just remember, you have already taken the first step by coming here. You can now talk to others that are in the same situation or have been in the same situation. This will hopefully help your stress level (I know it helped mine.) The homophobic comments are annoying too. I used to have some friends that said those things. I would just ignore them because if you try to make them stop they might suspect that you are a lesbian. Good Luck!! If you need support feel free to post a message on my wall. Everybody here is really good at supporting people.
First, (*hug*), take a deep breath, it's gonna be okay. Hey, welcome to EC. This is a good place and there are a lot of people with really good advice and experience in living in homophobic families or areas, and people who are struggling with the intersection between sexuality and their religion, so you're definitely not alone, like Kiersten proved already Poke around here and it won't be hard to find! But what I really wanted to say when I saw your second post was that you should maybe start a blog. You can use the one here on EC, or if you'd rather it be more private, start one on a free blog site. You don't need to put a name or a picture on it, so no one but you will know it's yours and you can even make all the posts private, so only you can see them and only when you're logged in. It's like having a journal you need a special password for. So anyone who would find the web address couldn't see what it said anyway. Just make sure to log out when you're done! That's what I always do when I need a private space to write. Like you seem to be, I am definitely one of those people who has to write something out to really sort it through, and I don't think you'll have to give that habit up if you can do it online
Wow, thank you for all of the helpful posts! You guys are really sweet just reading these has made me calm down. (Even though I'm still a bit shaky) It is a very difficult experience to go through when you're tied between who you truly are, and your religion. (Even though I don't truly belive everything I've been taught, how can God hate someone so much, when he precisely created them?). @thedreamwatch, that makes sense to start a private online blog! It sounds much, much safer! And like yourself, I am the type of person who has to write things down to make some sense out of them at times. I will definitely take your advice and try it out! Thank you
Welcome to EC! First off, if you could "pray the gay away", you no doubt would've by now. You can't. You're gay. And if you believe in God, then God made you gay. One of my favorite friendly gay/religion messages is "God actually loves gays - look how many of us he made". So take solace in the fact that you're not an abomination. You are what you are, and being gay doesn't have to be an obstacle to living a great and productive (and even religious) life. In regards to your parents and family. Coming out is supposed to make your life simpler and easier, and it seems pretty clear that doing so to your family right now would have the opposite effect. So don't. Just don't bother talking to them about it right now. When you have questions or concerns about your sexuality, feel free to turn to us, and we'll see if we can help out. Lex
Welcome! Yes I agree with everyone who has responded you. God loves you just as you are. "How many gays does God have to create until we realize that he actually wants them around." That's one of my favorite quotes about God loving gays. It's hard that you were raised being told that God hated gays, that's very sad. The people who told you this are just prejudiced, bigoted and misinformed. I was lucky enough to have been raised being told that God loves everyone, and to tell you the truth, all the times I went to religion class or church, no one said anything about god hating gays. Anyways. I think you should try and find some supportive friends and just ignore the family situation right now. Come to us whenever you need help, we will be happy to help you!
Thank you so much! (*hug*) ---------- Post added 2nd Aug 2011 at 11:49 AM ---------- Thank you! (*hug*) I am just going to try my best to ignore it!
Hey I know exactly how you feel. But what you need to do is start researching the whole topic of Christianityand homosexuality. I have a post on here titled "I am a gay scared Christian" and one post that helped me was a link to a trailer for the movie "for the bible tells me so." It is on instant netflix and I loved it, it made me cry a lot but happy hopeful tears. Next Google search "what the bile does and doesn't say about homosexuality." It is best to do research on your own but getting a head start from this site is a great help. From my research I believe being gay is not a sin at all and god loves you a lot. Good luck hun, come out to yourself, be happy about it and then start working on your family.
