This is so crazy. So since June first I am out to about twenty five family and friends. My life has changed so much. It is getting better, as they say. Well, there is one exception. My best friend, he took it sooooo hard. He wouldn't even look me in the eye after I told him. He thinks that it is a choice, I explained to him that it was not a choice from me, but I don't know what he thinks. I am devastated because I really care about him and all the good history that we have. This is the astonishing part, my wife has taken it better than him. She is being my biggest supporter. She is taking me to the movie "Beginners" tonight. A story a gay man coming out when he is 75 years old. Pretty cool. So why can't he get his head out and see that if my wife can deal with it and be supportive why' can't he. She has way more to loose than him. It's hard to explain how I am happy and sad all at the same time. Also, my brother told my 10 year old niece and 14 year old nephew two days ago (he did ask me if it was ok to tell them) and I got a text from both of them telling me that they didn't care and that they still love me no matter what. It made me cry...........
Yay! I'm glad you've had such success so far! I'm sure your friend will come around soon. It probably just came as a shock and he needs time to see that you are still you.
It's wonderful to hear that so many people in your life have been supportive. But it must certainly be difficult that the one person who hasn't been also happens to be your best friend. In some ways I think it's almost harder to "break up" with a close friend than a partner - your good friends are supposed to be there for you no matter what, whereas love relationships end all the time, for all kinds of reasons. I don't know your friend or his reasons for feeling the way he does, so I'm not going to tell you that he'll definitely come around or that you'll be able to salvage your friendship. But it is possible that he may just need time to get used to the idea. He might even be going through something similar to what parents or siblings sometimes experience when a family member comes out as gay - his whole perception of you has shifted, and you are suddenly not the person he thought he knew so well (even though you are, of course, fundamentally still the same person). Some people describe it almost as a period of loss and mourning that they have to go through before they can come to a point where they accept it.
Thanks so much for you thoughts. I'm still just hoping that, as you say, he needs time to process this. I asked him if he felt as though I deceived him by hiding this part of me for all those years and he said that he did not. So, I take that as a good thing. I know our relationship will never be the same but I can only hope that he will be accepting at some point.
Congrats on coming out to your family and friends. I would give your friend some time to process this. Just like you had a coming out process, he has a process that he has to go through. I would just tell him if he had any questions that you would be there for him and leave it at that.
