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Have a Concern About a Friend

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by MunsterMash, Aug 3, 2011.

  1. MunsterMash

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    This is my first post to EC (woo woo!), but I've been a reader for a while now. I have a concern about a friend of mine. We used to hang out a lot and have the funniest conversations until a few weeks ago when I came out to her at a party. She seemed fine with it (which was what I expected. She has a really close high school friend that came out to her as well so I figured she would understand.) at the time, but since then things have seemed to change between us. Whenever I text her she almost never texts back, which never used to happen. However the one time I've seen her face to face since the party, it was like old times again. She is busy right now with work and sorority stuff, but she's the kind of person (or used to be at least) that would never leave a text just sitting in the inbox. And the one time I've suggested we hang out (which was the only time she's responded to one of my texts since me coming out) she came up with a work excuse that I'm pretty sure she made up. I want to approach her about it, but at the same time I'm hesitant. To my knowledge she could just be really busy, while I'm being paranoid about losing a close friend. I basically just wanted to throw this out there and see if anybody has been through something similar to my situation and to see if I'm just being paranoid. The latter of which I would love to hear because I would hate to lose this friend. Thanks!
     
  2. sjg545

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    Yeah I have a guy friend like this and it is killing me. At the moment, he is the only one I am out to. I don't know if I'm overanalyzing things or what but he has definitely been acting different than he used to. I have my own suspicions as to why but I'm not going to get into that. What I did is I sent my friend an email just asking if there was a reason he was being so stand-offish. I asked if it was something I did or said but he said no, and everything is fine. I don't think he was being completely honest but if I were you, I'd ask your friend if there is anything wrong between you guys and see what happens. Anyways, I'm really tired so I don't know if this is good advice or not but I hope it helps! Good luck!
     
  3. bookworm43

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    i completely get the paranoia trip, as i am a notorious worry wort. in my situation, it was simply agonizing paranoia, but either way, it would of saved me a lot of angst if i had just confronted the person about it. so my advice would be to send her a calm, short text, asking if, like, she was avoiding you or somethin. don't sound accusatory, or else she'll get angry and defensive. i hope this helped!!
     
  4. s5m1

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    I would make it a point of having a face to face conversation with her. Tell her how much you value the friendship and then explain how you have felt lately. Ask her if anything is wrong or bothering her. Be honest but non-confrontational.
     
  5. MunsterMash

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    Thanks for the responses! I think what all of you suggested is the best thing to do. I'll just try subtly approach her and attempt to figure out this problem (if there is one). Thanks again!