Just kind of new coming to the whole starting to come out and I came across a question/pattern I have noticed. I promise I am not shallow and that isn't where this question comes from but just repetative patterns I have noticed. I have noticed that it seems like slim guys are with similarly slim guys, fit guys are with fit guys, and guys with a more that average body type are with similar guys. I don't know if it is just the generation I am seeing or what. But is this really the normal pattern of how things work. As in a slim dude or fit dude wouldn't find a more than average guy appealing. or any other variation? Is this really how it is? Please understand, I am not trying to given a particular opinion, just asking about an observation that I am unsure of is accurate or just what you see due to the generation I am in. Any insight into this will be greatly appreciated.:help:
Hi, and if it hasn't been said already, welcome to EC! I'm glad you joined and posted I think what you see in gay culture probably isn't a whole lot different than what you see in straight culture. You have large people with small, tall with short, really gorgeous with very ordinary... and then of course you also see the "beautiful couples." But keep in mind also, with gay couples... if you're looking at clubs and bars, what you're seeing probably isn't representative. Bars and clubs tend to attract people who are more focused on physical attributes, and also tend to be places for hookups rather than relationships. People who are focused on relationships realize that beauty goes beyond physical attractiveness, and so you tend to see less of them -- whether or not they are "beautiful" by an average person's standards -- at bars and clubs. And same with the couples. I hope that answers your question.
Well, there's a biological theory that says that like calls to like. People with genes for slimness are more likely to be attracted to slim people because they're likely to have similar genes (thus enhancing the genes' chances of being passed down). Even if gay couples don't procreate in the usual fashion, those genes for attraction are still working in their regular way. And then, of course, there might be similar interests. I'm one who likes a good meal and wouldn't know what the inside of a gym looks like, so I'm unlikely to end up with a gymbunny who eyes everything heavier than a piece of celery with suspicion. On the whole though, as Chip said, that's true for gays and straights. As you're actively looking for patterns (a normal thing to do when you're newly out), it might just jump out more in the gay couples. There's plenty of exceptions, though! Every so often, there's threads here about attraction, and then there's no shortage of slim guys saying they prefer guys who are a bit bigger, or vice versa. And in part, it might be a bit of a generational thing. The younger people are, the more they're likely to go for just raw attraction, rather than first getting to know each other and going for the inside, rather than the body type.
It all depends on a person's perception, whether your gay, bi, lesbian, straight or any other sexual orientation. Due to the media we see more images of slim or well build people and we are told that looks are more than enough. Society accepted this and society is to blame for this. On the other hand some people view looks as important and the media will never portray fat (or big bones as i call it) couples, cause that according to society is not sexy. Sex sells and that is unfortunately the fact at the end of the day. You will how ever get people that look sexy but are shallow (not part intended here) then you get people that is not sexy, but are deep wonderful persons. For me, I don't consider looks to be important, remember we all grow old, looks fades away with age. but personalities doesn't. For me personality is the biggest factor. My hubby may not have a sexy body and may be a little over weight, but where he lacks in looks he more than makes up in his personality. sure i look at another sexy guy and say yeah I wouldn't mind having a one night stand with him. But at the end of the day, for me personality is the most important. Someone i can grow old with (like Adam Sandler's song in the wedding singer), some one who can help me grow as a person, some one i can have fun with, someone who will wipe my ass when i am 80 years old and can't do it anymore!!!
