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left handed....I JUST MADE A CONNECTION ...GAY

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by feelindown, Aug 4, 2011.

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  1. feelindown

    feelindown Guest

    I was somewhere and i noticed people were writing with their left hands. i am right - handed. suddenly something dawned on me. no matter if someone was left handed or right handed, we were both writing, both of our writings were legible. the people in the room that were writing with their left hand were certainly in the minority. they did not look any different than anyone else. however, they just wrote with their left hand. if you asked them to try and right with their right hand, they could probably do it, but it wouldn't feel comfortable to them. just like i can try and write with my left hand but it doesn't feel naturally comfortable to me. "how did they become left handed anyway", I thought... EVERYONE for the most part is right handed so how did these "lefties" get this way. suddenly i realized this very much like sexual orientation. when babies are born most parents try and force kids to write and use their right hand predominantly. kids that seem like they are going to be lefties, are usually forced by the parents to use their right hand instead. some of these kids that are natural lefties, just start using their right hand more because of the parent's forcing. some of these kids defy the parents and still continue to use their left hand more because it's more natural to them. and some of these these kids eventually learn to use either left or right hand equally as well. for most of us, we go along with the program and just use our right hand.

    it's the same with sexuality. when we are born, kids that may seem to show signs of "being gay" are forced to fit into a straight mold or box. we are told what to do, how to talk, how to walk, what to say, what not to do, who to like, what is wrong, what is right and we go along with the program. just like parents and society thinks its weird to write with your left hand, some people think it's weird to be gay so they force you into a straight box. just like writing with your left or right hand, some people learn how to navigate both very well. so there are also people that are "bi sexual" maybe they socialized to be straight but actually can like both or maybe they are just plain gay and only like the same sex...just like some people are left handed and only like writing with the left hand.

    my point it, i suddently realized that sexuality is much like being left handed or right handed or ambidextrous (can write with both). so it seems stupid for people to bash gay people for things they can't control. just like it would be stupid to bash all left handed people for writing with their left hand. :slight_smile:
     
    #1 feelindown, Aug 4, 2011
  2. TraceElement

    TraceElement
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    :eusa_clap Yup! I have to admit that to this day there are a few trivial things I struggle with (fine motor skills like coloring in the lines and cutting) but have learned to accept what society would call "flaws" with my left handed-ness. I like to believe that they just make my personality more colorful. :icon_bigg
     
    #2 TraceElement, Aug 4, 2011
  3. FJ Cruiser

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    I tried to use this analogy with my brother. With someone as dense as him, he only fired back with the example of how Rafael Nadal is actually right-handed but was molded to be a left-handed tennis player, and that he's more successful for changing it. *shakes head* For all his ability to think abstractly, he knows how to take things way too literally.
     
    #3 FJ Cruiser, Aug 4, 2011
  4. feelindown

    feelindown Guest

    hehehe @ fj cruiser. yea your bro sounds like a debater. Yes i want to color outside the lines darnit! ok, we'll i like coloring inside the lines. lol.
     
    #4 feelindown, Aug 4, 2011
  5. s5m1

    s5m1
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    Nice analogy and well said. So now looking at it that way, how do you feel about your own sexuality?
     
    #5 s5m1, Aug 4, 2011
  6. PersonalTaste27

    PersonalTaste27
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    lol well im left handed and gay
     
    #6 PersonalTaste27, Aug 4, 2011
  7. FJ Cruiser

    FJ Cruiser
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    Yeah, he and I think so differently it's ridiculous. Coincidentally enough, he's incredibly right-brained, and I'm incredibly left-brained. It makes for interesting/annoying intellectual conversations. He doesn't have a problem with homosexuality, but it's taking him a little while to get over the disappointment of me being gay. He still can't get it through his head that it wasn't a choice. *smack face*
     
    #7 FJ Cruiser, Aug 4, 2011
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2011
  8. Meropspusillus

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    There are definitely studies that show that gay men are significantly more likely to be left-handed than straight men. Which shows that not only are the two alike, but connected...likely.
     
    #8 Meropspusillus, Aug 4, 2011
  9. thylvin

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    I was left handed but were forced by a grade 2 teacher who believed lefties were the sons of the devil! That really pissed me off and i refused to participate in anything in the class. At the end of the year the teacher quit her job due to pressures from other parents... all our lefties who were in the same boat had to redo our grade.

    That said, I do write with my right hand, but when it comes to drawing i do it with my left hand.

    To add to your analogy, lefties are more artistic people than righties... just like being gay are more into decorating, designing and so forth
     
    #9 thylvin, Aug 4, 2011
  10. Chip

    Chip
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    Somewhere in the EC archive there's a thread with a poll about lefties/righties and I think among the responding EC population, it was about 25% left handed, substantially higher than in the general population. Sampling bias and response bias and all that but... still interesting.

    One time, I was in a car with 3 other guys, all of whom happened to be gay, and all of whom happened to be left handed (as am I) and we happened to notice that and then say "what are the odds of this?"
     
    #10 Chip, Aug 4, 2011
  11. s5m1

    s5m1
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    I don't think feelindown was saying that gays are more likely to be either left or right handed. Rather, I think he was saying that some people are born left handed and some right handed, just like some people are born gay and some straight. And regardless of our sexuality, we are all basically the same - we are people.
     
    #11 s5m1, Aug 4, 2011
  12. Chip

    Chip
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    Oh, I got that completely; that it was a comparison of two genetic traits. But it's still interesting that there appears to be a correlation between these two apparently unrelated traits.
     
    #12 Chip, Aug 4, 2011
  13. feelindown

    feelindown Guest

    i'm the OP, wow, who knew this would start such a trend. I never gave any thought to left handed people being more likely to be gay. maybe there's some evidence of that. i dont know. the point was merely to say people are people and some are born left handed, right handed, straight, bi, and gay. somehow seeing the folks writing with their left hand (straight people) triggered this little spark and revealation in my head. :slight_smile:
     
    #13 feelindown, Aug 4, 2011
  14. Markio

    Markio
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    It's kind of exciting to think that one day, people will nonchalantly point us out and say "whoa, I didn't know you were gay! That's kind of interesting," in the same way people casually point out the left-handed today.
     
    #14 Markio, Aug 4, 2011
  15. PsychoticMonkey

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    To the OP - wow, great analogy. I'd never thought of it that way before!
     
    #15 PsychoticMonkey, Aug 5, 2011
  16. Lexington

    Lexington
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    >>>One time, I was in a car with 3 other guys, all of whom happened to be gay, and all of whom happened to be left handed (as am I) and we happened to notice that and then say "what are the odds of this?"

    Uh, what exactly were all you gay guys doing with your left hands in that car? :grin:

    Back in "the day", it was normal for parents and teachers to try to "correct" children who showed a preference for their left hand. To this day, my father writes with his left hand...in a weird, fast script that comes out in sudden "bursts". He'll write two letters, stop, quickly write three more, stop, and so on. And when he writes on a dry-erase board, he uses his right hand. Why? "Teacher might see him."

    Nowadays, if a kid is born left-handed, we try to teach him not to smudge when he writes, we buy him a pair of those green-handled scissors, and life goes on, y'know?

    Lex
     
    #16 Lexington, Aug 5, 2011
  17. Just Passing

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    Is it still possible for a gay person to be right handed? Because I'm right handed and gay and my left hand is completely useless with writing, but sometimes good in other areas. Where did the whole people who are left handed are more likely to be gay start from anyway? I have a relative who is left handed and they are in a relationship with someone from the opposite sex.

    Anyway, moving on, being left handed shouldn't be an issue any more. It might have been unacceptable back in the past (one of my grandparents was left handed and was forced to write with her right, but can use both to her advantage since), but who the hell even cares at this point? Being gay has probably been more taboo than ever being left handed.

    Maybe I've just misunderstood the topic and whilst there are some similarities, I wouldn't class them as being that similar.
     
    #17 Just Passing, Aug 5, 2011
  18. Chip

    Chip
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    You're making the assumption that left handedness and being gay are 1:1 correlated. They aren't. In fact, we don't know there's any actual correlation at all. I know a ton of lefthanded people who are as straight as it gets so it certainly isn't the case that being left handed = being gay.

    What is true is that there appears to be a correlation such that a larger-than-normal percentage of gay people are left handed. Nothing more than that.
     
    #18 Chip, Aug 5, 2011
  19. suninthesky

    suninthesky
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    I love my special scissors!!! They don't hurt my hand. xD
     
    #19 suninthesky, Aug 5, 2011
  20. KaotikPrincess

    KaotikPrincess
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    I don't know if this has anything to do with anything, but I am bisexual and ambidextrous! I write and use chop stix with my right hand but I eat and bowl with my left. I have also noticed that I play cards left handed, never noticed that before like 6 months ago.
     
    #20 KaotikPrincess, Aug 5, 2011
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