Crushing D:

stop crushing on unavailable people. its' not going to happen. focus energy on people that are available and interested in similiar things/orientation.

 

I totally know what you are talking about. Anyone who has ever read my posts knows I have a huge crush on my straight best friend (might be bi, but in any case he and his girlfriend are super cute and have been together for ages). I guess the question I have for everyone, and I think it might also be what you wanted to ask is:

How do you get over crushes on guys who are unavailable. I seen this advice a lot but not on how to actually get over them.

 

Feelindown is right, start focusing on people who are available and more likely to date you rather than this person. Keep him as an option though, don't completely close your heart to this guy but in the meantime open up your heart to others and if you are still single and this guy breaks up with his girlfriend and you still like him, I don't see why you couldn't continue to pursue him

---------- Post added 5th Aug 2011 at 06:58 PM ----------

I have this automatic mindset where if a guy (or girl) are already in a relationship, my feelings (crushing feelings) will be blocked and I won't think twice about it. Strange, but thats the way it is with me. I really really really liked this guy in high school but pretty much the day after he got a girlfriend I was over him.

 

I know how you feel, and that feeling of wanting someone is because they are unavailable, chances are if he was single there is still no possitive he'd date you, your only confirmation he may be bi is gaydar? Well sorry to break it to you but gaydar does not work 100% of the time... Don't focus so much on this one guy you are young be around new people, focus on school, if you are completly out he knows your gay, he knows your an option if he is bi if he hasn't talked to you yet he may not, i dont want to crush your hopes but its easy to get hurt in these situations, you need to ask yourself do you even want to set yourself up to be hurt? Even if by slight chance he was bi do you want a closet relationship? Anyway i hope this helps...

 

Well, i do not have any ideas as to how to get over a crush. You will always have this problem, every one will have this problem throughout their whole life. It's the power of attraction. i've been friends with my best friend for 10 years and i actually had a crush on him, but i acted more in a manner of a friend when I am around him than anything else.

What made the problem a bit worse for me was that we saw each other practically every day. If i did not go to him, he would come to me, so the only way i could have done it is just simply not open the door when he's at my place. But being the kind of person I am i just couldn't do it.

It got even worse, so much so that every time i see him I used to get a huge hard on... I kinda fixed that problem to masturbating before i know he would show up, but half an hour later or even less it would be back. so I had to use the top layer of my pants to stop showing the hard on.

If you read some of my previous posts it actually goes on to some experiences, but that is not what this post is about.

All I can say is focus your attention on something else, I used to at a time when it got so unbearable to devour novels and books that would keep my attention, like the Lord of the Rings (actually read that 7 times and now could read it in a single week), i lived myself into the games, movies and everything else i could find that will keep my attention off the guy. It worked in a way, but it's not the actual solution.

At the end though he did something really bad towards, me and that hurt me so much the crush I had just went away with all the hurt

 

Listen to Thylvin's experience really listen, situations like this rarely end well. Don't let yourself become obsessed with a man who will not ever be fully available to you. Stop it before you get hurt...