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Friendship

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by kevinx519, Nov 23, 2007.

  1. kevinx519

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    so i just read evilmonkey's post and that reminded me of a current problem i have with a friend...well now ex-friend of mine. so me and this guy were like best friends for about a year and a half. he was like a brother to me. we'd be so comfortable around each other and we would talk about everything and anything. but about 6 months ago, i finally accepted myself as being gay and i began distancing myself from my friend. we'd talk some still but i tried to ignore him the best i could. i know it seems stupid but heres the reason why. i have this giant fear of being rejected. i knew that if he rejected me, i'd feel like...well...crap. we've gone over the topic of homosexuality and he has no problem with it. still, i'm scared that his actions wouldnt live up to his word. i know he's my best friend and i should trust him. but i dont know....its a harsh world and id rather not risk the chance of getting hurt period. so now he hates me...like officially hates me hates me. like he's said it to my face that he can't be around me. we've made up 2 times but i always end up with that fear again and now its permanent. i've decided that i'm gonna try and give this friendship one more go. we've talked a bit and he's clearly told me that i've lost my chances. i know i deserve this but i feel like he at least deserves to know the truth. should i tell him? if i do, how should i do it? he won't even acknowledge me.
     
  2. biisme

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    I think you should tell him. From what you've said, you have nothing to lose. Tell him exactly what you said here, "I was afraid you wouldn't accept me." If you don't tell him it sounds like you might lose him forever. But, if you do, he might understand enough to give you another chance. What you thought might drive you apart might bring you back together. Send him an e-mail. It's really hard to ignore when it's just sitting there. Put something in the subject line that will make you sure he'll read. You may even want the subject to be "I'm gay." Anyway, I think you should go for it and I wish you the best of luck. If you do tell him, be sure to tell us how it goes.
     
  3. Evilmonkey

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    so totally get what your going through, im in the same boat. part of me would rather end the friendship on my terms than to risk being rejected for who i really am in my core. that would hurt so much.
     
  4. beckyg

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    Go ahead and tell him. His reactions are stemming from the fact that you hurt him and he doesn't have an inkling why. Tell him you screwed up and you feel bad about it and the reason why!