1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Coming out in college?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by confusedguy, Aug 6, 2011.

  1. confusedguy

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2011
    Messages:
    25
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
    Male
    So I am planning on coming out in college - yes I know there is a similar post but everyone has different stories and reasons. Anyway, I have already come out to two people but in terms of college, do I need to wait for people to get to know me or just be honest and up front from the beginning?

    Also, they do have a Gays, lesbian, Bisexual, trans-gender and friends group and club. Should I join that? I mean I was hoping to come out in a controlled manner but Idk if I was to join one of those clubs, would it be outing myself too much and uncontrollably?

    I do have friends that already go to the university I will be attending; however, I haven't come out to any of them yet. I was hoping to make college basically the beginning of me honestly living my life how I want instead of how others want me to live it.

    As for the roommate thing, I don't believe I have to worry. The university made out the roster for who is where and my roommate decided to join the military before coming to school with out telling them so I have no roommate to worry about...at least for the first semester.

    So what is your advice on coming out in college? All advice welcomed and appreciated.
     
  2. Yay for coming out in college! It really is an awesome time to do so. A couple things you might want to try/think about.

    As far as "coming out" in college goes, I actually tend to recommend just "being out" in college. What I mean by that is, just pretend like everyone already knows. Don't hide it. Just live and talk about life and yourself as if everyone already knows your sexuality. Then you don't have to have a ton of serious conversations with people you don't know very well and also, you don't have to figure out when is a good time to tell them. Some people might ask you about it, but my experience is that most people will just add that piece of information to their files on you and move on.

    Join the LGBT friend group/club. It will be a great way to get involved on campus and get to know people. I'd recommend joining any club or extracurricular, but LGBT ones are great for people who are just coming out to meet some new people.

    If/when you encounter your friends that already go to your school, you might want to actively come out to them. If they're close friends anyway...if not, you can always go with the "pretend everyone knows" thing and just answer honestly if someone asks about it.

    Good luck, although it sounds like you're off to a great start. :slight_smile:
     
  3. Foxywolf

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2011
    Messages:
    287
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New York State, near Rochester
    Hmm, I think you should go to the LGBT group in your college. I am going to join mine and I think that it would help you to come out to other people if you are nervous about it and stuff. I don't think it would out you to the whole school. Other than that you can come out to your friends and such at your own pace.
     
  4. Kidd

    Kidd Guest


    ^^ This ^^

    Practically no one is going to know who you are, what you've done, or anything about you. If you act like you've been out for a while, or if you just assume that everyone else knows, then it isn't a big deal when they find out.