I know I have created a thread before on bullying, but I have been thinking about it more and more lately. And even though I have OCD I think one of the main reasons I have worried a long time about my voice sounding sterotypically or effiminate is when I was in high school I asked a lot of people if they thought I sounded gay. 10-14 years later I can see how dumb with this, because in truth probably only one person said it as a mean spirited thing and by the time I was done with high school. I had a dozen calling me gay slurs on a regular basis. Then about 6-8 years I went to a forum and was bullied in the same kind of way. Again I asked people if I thought people If I sound gay, this was also dumb because this were people over the internet. And although this forum is great can some be worse then high school. I have learned my lessons on both things, and both things happened years ago. But how do I know the bullies were not right with the names they called me?? How do you rebuild your self-esteem after its shattered and your voice was constantly made fun of I know you have to forget some of the hurtful things people have done to me in the past, but its hard for me. Especially lately, because I think more of the bullies who called me names, then my OCD I know its cliche, but I guess when people say living well is the best revenge. I feel a little ruined. I think if I wasn't by mself so much and had a good group of friends I might be doing better. Another question, people here who are bullied or were bullied how did you get over it?? I also have trouble forgiving myself for some of the bullying, because by asking people what they thought of my voice in high school I was just asking for it(That's what my dad said yesterday and he is right, but I think he also said it happened and its over wtih) Anyway, hope you all had a nice thanksgiving(those of you live you in the US) Justin
First of all, I'm so sorry that you were ever bullied. No one should have to go through that. My school is big on anti-bullying, especially after we had a suicide that was most likely "helped along" by bullying. It may not have been the best thing to ask people multiple times (was it multiple times?) something that you knew could potentially hurt you. I think you need to focus on the good things in your life. Everything has somethign they want to change (is yours ur voice?) but no matter what, it isn't that one thing that makes you who you are. My advice to get over bullying is to think about the people that bullied you. You are better than them. (You haven't bullied, have you?) One day theyr'e going to rub someone the wrong way. There are people in your life that care about you, right? Their opinions are the only ones that matter. Lastly, forgive yourslef. I know it's hard but think of it this way. It's hard forgiving yourslef b/c u think in part it was your fault? Well, not forgiving yourself now will just make it worse. You'll have less to forgive yourself for in the end, if you forgive yourself now and start to heal. Does this make sense? O dear. I don't know if any of that was any help. In the end just remember; we'll all here for you.
i agree with biis. bullying is a tough subject to handle. i know what it's like to be bullied, maybe not to your extreme, but to some extent. i've frequently been called various names because of one slip up of a stereotyped "gay" action. i find it ridiculous how bullies try to pick on others when they know it is themselves they have a problem with. just remember that when they bullied you, they were only trying to make up for their own inadequecies (sp error?). haha. i guess the only thing to do now is to take what they said to you, accept it, and learn from it. ill add in another cliche here. whatever doesn't kill you will only make you stronger. the fact that you survived this bullying and stil came out to be such a great person only adds to your success. so even when you can't shake all the negative comments made about you, remember all the positive ones, too. remember that despite the faults people see in you, these are the faults that make you you and one day someone will love you for them.
