So, here's the thing. I feel compelled to do or say something but I don't know where to even begin, honestly... This guy I know, we met in the sixth grade, were pretty close friends through middle school and high school, he broke my heart, we stopped talking for a while, randomly hung out again a year later after we graduated, and then I hadn't seen him or said a word to him again until Friday night when we bumped into each other at Walmart and it was a little frosty and awkward, but it was cordial and things went as well as could be expected I suppose. Well, I mentioned this to one of our mutual friends yesterday during our Mexican date night, and she told me that he told her that he was planning to commit suicide and I really do believe it because of the way he's been acting on Facebook, and just in general from what I've heard. He started posting these really bizarre statuses, and he kept going for walks alone, at like random times of the night, and like I said in the "What are you thinking?" thread, he just has nothing going for him right now so I can see how he would be depressed. Obviously, it's pretty serious, but is it really my place to worry about him still? I had been thinking about sending him a message or a text or something asking to hang out sometime but I had decided against it and now I don't know if maybe I should rethink that or not considering the circumstances. It's really bothering me and I have no clue what to do or say.
if i were in your situation i would get involved as much as possible, try to inject some of my positiveness into him. because you had some kind of history together he might be more trusting in speaking with you directly. Just ask yourself this question, if he did commit suicide, what would you feel, how would you feel about this? if it is in out power to help someone in that situation then by all means help out, save him. every human life is too valuable to loose. besides, if you commit suicide, the only place you end up in is hell, and that place were not meant for the human soul, it was meant for the devil and his demons, not us. If you can safe him, you not only saved a human life, you stopped him from going to hell You might be the only person he will feel comfortable to talk about his issues and i say go for it. But if your not overly a positive person, his problems might drag you down. to safe a person like that is not for everyone but i urge you to help in which ever way you can. if he did end up committing suicide, you know you did all you can do to stop him or safe him. I have lost a friend due to suicide almost 15 years ago. even today i still resent myself for not trying, i still have doubts that if i did, could i have saved him? this will eat you up, i know from experience. at a time it was so bad that even i felt useless in life, that i couldn't save him, that beacuse i didn't try that i must lead a similar fate, Yes even i considered suicide during this rough time. but i am glad that my best friend who came into my life during this time, a total strange, i connected with him for no other reason but drugs, he used some so i became friends. and as we walked the long distances in the field on the way to buy some weed we always talk about different things and he helped me to get out of it. even he lost 3 friends due to suicide. I will always be in debt to him, even though our long 10 year friendship is almost non existence today.
I would reach out and talk to him. I've been that guy and if it wasn't for my friends and especially for others who I was semi-close to reaching out to me I don't know what I'd do. Anymore you don't want to take chances and blow off anyone in that mood.
The way I usually put it is "offer a lifeline". I wouldn't necessarily try to shoehorn yourself in as much as possible, since you're getting most of this information secondhand. But you might send something like "It was really good to see you on Friday. I've been looking at your status updates, and you seem really down as of late. Just wanted you to know that you can always talk to me, whenever, wherever, about whatever. So don't feel you've got nowhere to turn - you can always talk to me if you feel you need to, OK? " This offers the "lifeline" in the event that he feels he needs to take it. Lex
If you genuinely feel that there is a serious risk of suicide, then absolutely I would intervene. Try Lex's suggestion first, but if he doesn't bite, I would, in your position, talk to his parents, closest friends, whomever. If for some reason that isn't an option, and you are convinced that he is in imminent danger of harming himself, then I would call the police. One of my friends, his mother was about to harm herself, but had the sense to realize that it wasn't rational, so she called the police on herself. They came, took her to a mental hospital, and they were able to get her on medication and stabilized and she's now fine... that outcome would have been completely different had she not made that call.
