So I'm in 4H and we have an annual national quiz bowl that takes place in October. I made the state team along with three other girls, and we're all going to be going to the national competition in October. I'm worried because one of my teammates is very religious and comes from a super-religious family. I'm going to have to share a bed with one of the girls, and my parents feel it's dishonest for me to sleep with someone who doesn't know my sexual orientation, even if it is totally nonsexual (I have to say I kind of agree with them). My problem is, I don't want to come out to my teammates if it means discord among the team, since we need to be friends and get along to do well as a team. On the other hand, I don't want to be dishonest, and I promised myself when I came out last year that I was done hiding. Do you think I should come out to my teammates or keep it a secret? Thanks a ton, hugs to everyone.(&&&)
I've been in a situation before- I played soccer and I shared a locker room with my team. It wasnt uncommon for girls to just walk around pretty much naked, and I can tell you, I was so uncomfortable at the time. I chose not to say anything; I was afraid I would make them just as uncomfortable as I was. Now though, I kinda regret not saying anything. I've started coming out at school and I'm sure it will be a shock to some of those girls now
Honestly, I disagree with the fact that it's "dishonest" to share a bed with someone who doesn't know your sexual orientation. That sort of implies that they are only getting in the same bed because they think you aren't gay. Most people don't think about your sexual orientation if they are sharing your bed. It's just a place to sleep. If you aren't planning on groping them or doing anything, and just want to sleep, what business is it of the other person? In the past, I have shared my bed with plenty of straight friends who didn't know about me. Anyways, the decision to come out is your's and your's alone. For me, I only come out to people when I want to share the details of my life with them (who I like, if I am dating someone, etc). If I don't even have a desire to share these details with someone, then what would be the point of coming out? If they don't ask me about girls, and I don't talk to them about girls, then I don't think it's really "hiding", or even "omitting" the truth for that matter, simply because I don't lie or have to lie about anything. People come out for different reasons. I guess you have to ask yourself if you want to come out to your teammates for the same reason you came out to your friends. Coming out may even strengthen your bond with your teammates. Good luck . Let us know what happens.
I don't think you NEED to come out just because you are sharing a bed with a girl. Seems a little bit ridiculous to me. It's not like you are going to be sexual with them. It's not like you have some disease that they could catch and must let them know so they will take precautions not to catch the disease. No. In a situation like this you need not say anything. And personally I think it would be a little weird if you said hey I'm gay! Right before this event, it's kind of like saying, "hey I'm gay and now we are going to sleep in the same bed, wheeee!" Well not really but still. Come out if you want to but don't come out just because you are going to sleep in the same bed as a girl. I have slept smooshed next to girls who knew i was gay and in the same bed as those who didn't.
