I've always been really excited about going to college and studying what I love, but lately I've been having second thoughts about my enthusiasm. I've only come out to not even a handful of people (leaked or otherwise), and no one really knows or suspects that I'm a lesbian, even though I'm in a GSA group for my school. It's really freaking me out about choosing a college. I want my college to have good curriculum and all that, but in the end as much as I don't want to face it, as a lesbian I can end up pretty lonely. I've never dated anyone before because of my condition (except for a trial date with one guy who turned out to be a skunk bag), but I really do want to try having a relationship in college. I want to pick a college where I have a pretty good chance of meeting other lesbians without being criticized, and I want to come out a little more in college, but it's frightening. Right now I'm trying to narrow down from three choices. The first school is the one my sis is most enthusiastic about, but it has the least chance for me as a lesbian. It's nice and has tons of international students, but it's still pretty small. The second is a big liberal arts school in the city and it has the most obvious LGBT community, but it seems more unattainable and it's my sis's least favorite. The last seems a little edgy--it has everything we both want in a college, but it's kinda....isolated from civilization. If I'm not accepted there, I'd be trapped there since it's out of my home state and about 90% of students live and thrive on campus without ever leaving (though there is a train station two miles away). Any advice...?
When are you going away to school? This year? Or next? I'm not sure from your posts if these are schools you applied to and were accepted at or ones you are thinking about applying to. If you have already been accepted and checked out all of the schools, did you get to visit? Did you get a chance to see how you might be accepted there? If you haven't already been accepted and are just looking at applying, I would highly suggest making arrangements to do an overnight visit at the schools and staying with a student there. It would give you a chance to explore what things are like there and have some time to really look into if they have a GSA and if you feel you would fit in there. From just what you have already said, without any answers to the questions I just asked, I would say that the second school sounds like your best bet. Is there a reason that you HAVE to go to a school your sis likes? If it seems like its the best fit for you, I think you should go for it and not worry about what other people may think of it.
I think whether you are comfortable at a school is definitely something to consider when looking at colleges. Feeling at home and accepted will help you focus on your studies and give you one less thing to worry about. As flymetothemoon said, check out the colleges and spend some time WITH students (tours are for parents :dry to learn about dorm life and the LGBT scene. I am not out at all, but I plan to start college as if I were completely out :newcolor:. College is a chance to start fresh, however you want!
flymetothemoon gave some good advice, but I'd like to reiterate this ^ Okay, i don't know where you live, but in my experience, unless it's a religious private school (and sometimes even if it is!) it's got and LGBT group of some kind. So, that's a good start. The other thing is, whether or not you'll get into a relationship, I honestly can't say, but I think it's better to go to school where you feel good. That means where you feel comfortable being you while you're learning about cool shit. There are lesbians all over the place, and you'll probably meet a few, but college is really awesome for a lot of reasons, so don't pick one JUST because you're more likely to get a date there, although the possibility is nice . It's also nice to like the campus, have cool programs, cool clubs, etc. That being said, definitely take flymetothemoon's advice and arrange some campus visits, especially overnight ones because it's a real-life tour not like a guided "i'm trying to sell this to you" tour. You'll get the down low on what life is like on campus! Good luck!
Thank you both very much! I've visited all three for campus tours with my parents, and I'm still not any closer to choosing one over the other. >< I still need to apply, though from the looks of it both my GPA and ACT scores are high enough to get into all of them. I also have excellent extra curriculars. I do want to arrange some overnight visits, however. It's always best to interact with the students first-hand so you know what you're in for, somewhat. (And I don't want to pick a college to get dates, I just don't want to feel like a stranger because everyone around me is straight. All of them have some kind of GSA group, though. They might just be very small in the first and the last.) It's not exactly essential that I go to the same school as my sis, but we've always been together and it would feel very strange without her there, y'know?
Another thing to consider when arranging overnight visits is that some colleges will let you request to stay with a student who is part of a certain group. You could always see if there is a possibility you could stay with a student who is part of the GSA, and then you would know that if you came out to them you would be accepted. That way, you could ask questions about what it is like to be gay on the campus without fear of how they will react.
Ah, really? I was under the impression that they stuck you with someone random....that, or just someone from your chosen major.
