Every time I bottom for my boyfriend it hurts... not only on entry or only the "hole". It hurts like deep in there. He has a average sized penis i guess like its not huge or something. Is this normal?
Hey there! I used to have this problem when I started experimenting sexually with my best friend. I am going to try and make this as clear as possible, without being too explicit. I guess I'll be brave and come out and say it! Whether or not you are using a condom, be sure to use lots and lots of lubrication. The rectum/anus region does not naturally produce lubrication like a female's vagina does, therefore it is imperative that you use plenty of lube when you are on the receiving end. Otherwise, you risk injury, possible infection, or a hemorrhoid. Also, foreplay is a good idea. If you can find a way to "loosen" up or relax, perhaps by a "toy" or by yourself, it will make it less painful (or not painful at all). The more time you take to relax this region, the less pain you are going to feel. I'm trying not to be very explicit here, so I hope you are understanding the message I am trying to get across. Always remember that if you are going to put ANYTHING in that region, that you use plenty of lubrication. Save yourself a potentially embarrassing visit to the doctor. Good luck!
To add to the above (which is excellent advice), play with positions. Some positions will point his penis right toward where it hurts whereas others will point it directly toward your prostate. Hint: his penis curves upward, you'll want to find a position where you're laying on your back or sitting up facing him. If his penis curves downard or goes straight out, you'll probably want to try something where you're on your stomach, knees or sitting up facing away from him. Some people worry that their boyfriend isn't long enough to reach their prostate, but the prostate is only about three or four inches in there, so size generally plays no factor in it. It's all position and aim. Go get 'em, tiger.
Just want to add to the already great advice given. Experiment in your positions, if needed, use the furniture to help hop a position, like couches, table tops, chairs etc. just be careful, test the furniture first to make sure it can withstand the weight and the movements or you might break it and hurt yourself even more. As for lubrications, its also an experimentation mater, not all lubricants will work for everyone, as everyone's bodies are different, so you will find some that will burn you, others that will be cold and some that will be just right. a good way to test it initially is by putting some either in your arm pits or by your genitalia. any slight discomfort like to hot or cold or burning is usually a good indicator which to avoid or what you can try further. Get your partner to first use his finger with a bit of cream to gently message the area, the cream will go into the skin there and make your area softer. then take some of the lubrication and let him slowly message the area more, slowly fingering you. At first he must use a single finger and the two and then three, which is about the width of of penis. do not force it, take your time! Good luck and have fun!
everyone has got it, all I can do is emphasize the position advice, you don't wanna blow an O-Ring. But, if it is really hurt STOP. You don't wanna do any damage to your rectum
patience is the key. make sure he goes as slowly as you need him to. even if the two of you are sitting completely still for an awkwardly long time. Also have him back out and come back bit by bit, slowly. I also like to wait for quite a while once it's in to get used to it. Different types of lubes and different positions are good too.
Great advice from everyone. One other factor: A lot of this boils down to psychology. The inner sphincter isn't under conscious control like the outer one is, and it tends to be pretty tight. If you are nervous or uncomfortable, it tends to tighten up, which, in turn, causes discomfort. (Likely the deep-inside discomfort you're describing.) So what to do? In addition to the great advice you've gotten above, you might find some great help from trying some exercises to relax and get yourself completely comfortable. Before he starts penetrating you, stop, relax, take some deep, slow breaths, and envision that part of your body relaxing and opening up, and imagine and envision that a very pleasant and enjoyable sensation will happen when he enters you. Make sure he starts slow, and keep breathing deeply and slowly, and keep focusing on relaxing and opening. For most people that have tried it, this can make an enormous difference. If you're still having trouble, get yourself a nice dildo and practice the same techniques using the dildo. A big part of this is simply getting yourself psychologically and emotionally ready. Even if consciously you're all about it and ready for it, and feel completely safe and secure, you can still be unconsciously uncomfortable or feel unsafe, and have absolutely no conscious awareness that's the case. So it's all about being patient, and trusting yourself, and allowing yourself to get to a place of being comfortable. And... once you do, I think you'll dig it
