Hey, guys. So I'm kind of struggling to come out, and thought that I'd turn to all you lovely, knowledgeable, helpful people for any advice/encouragement you may have. So just some background info... I'm out to all of my friends and such... I've just got the family left. My friends are mostly young and all of them are very open-minded and were all super supportive, but coming out to my family's a bit scarier, since my folks are from an older generation and I've known them to make gay jokes and be fairly homophobic, in particular my step-dad and my 14-year-old brother. Anyway, my dad's extremely religious... so I have some concerns there... My mom might be a bit more cool though, as I know for a fact that she's very suspecting and has openly said that she would accept me or my brother if we happened to be gay. So I took a small first step two days ago... I came out to my dad's ex-girlfriend... (she's not in touch with my family, and she and I have maintained a close relationship ever since she and my dad split). It was my first time coming out to a parental figure. But the thing is, like my dad, she's uber uber religious, and I'm not sure how accepting she'll be... See, I came out to her via a Facebook message (Ohhh, Facebook.) since she lives out-of-province and that's our only means of communication. I've seen her online 3 times since, but still no reply... I'm not sure if she's still trying to find the right words, or if she'll never speak to me again or what the scoop is, but anyway, all I can do is wait. Now all I've got left are my parents and their spouses, and my brother. Extended family and whatnot will follow, I imagine. So, kind EC users, any words of advice? How did you come out to your folks? Did you use any lines in particular that made the process easier for them or for yourself? How should I go about it? Thanks in advance for your help.
Well coming out to my family was a bit easier than usual so I don't really have any experience there. Your dad's ex should come around, if you two have been close I am sure she will understand eventually, she just has to get accustomed to the idea... she may try and tell you that you are wrong and you will go to hell but don't listen to it and forget about her if she does, you don't need anyone like that in your life anyways. I think that if you are going to start somewhere, talk to your mother, from what you have said about her she seems like the best choice. Then she can help you deal with everyone else. She has already assured you she will accept you no matter what so I say take advantage of that and tell her first. Good luck!
Hi there. I would give your dad's ex a bit of time to accept it and maybe find the right words to tell you. If she is really religious, that might take a while but hopefully she will end up being supportive of you. As Blakqsh33p said, coming out to your mom might be your next best bet. Having someone on your side (especially a parent) would be great to help you tell everyone else you need to. Best of luck and I hope it works out for you!
Thanks so much guys! I heard back from my dad's ex... Turns out she was having technical difficulties, that's why it took so long to reply. She was super supportive, and she also advised me to come out to my mom first. Seems like a logical course of action... Thanks for your words of advice!
