Hi. I have never been to a site like this before.I have been openly bi since I was 16. Normally I am a very open person, but I am having an issue. I am really nervous to talk about this. I have been married to my husband for 3 years. I am mostly happy. He knows that I am bi and has never had an issue with it. I haven't been with anyone else since we started dating. The problem is that I miss other girls so much. It makes me crazy some times. How am I supposed to deal with this?
Have you tried talking to your husband about possibly inviting other women into your bed, either for you or for both of you to experiment and spice things up a little bit? Technically you are bisexual and he is not and well relationships are all about compromise. But if he is the type of guy who wants both of you to be strictly monogamous then there is no way around that really and you should be monogamous if you love him. Otherwise, if he is not this type of guy and he is more open about things then maybe you can try talking to him about possibly messing around with other girls, either by yourself, or as a couple. My boyfriend and I have been together 3 years and he knows I'm bi and is fine with it, he also doesn't mind me wanting to explore with other girls either, and this is something we discussed before we started dating because I didn't want to date a guy who didn't accept my sexuality and let me express it openly. I mess around with girls on my own but when we do it as a couple it's an awesome bonding experience. So yeah, maybe bring up the subject and see what he thinks, it's worth a try and if he says no then at least you tried right? I hope things go well! Good luck. (*hug*) oh yeah one more thing! Out of reflex he is most likely going to bring up the saying "well if you get to have sex with other girls, then I get to also." This is the typical straight guy response so don't get offended because he is wired to say that. But don't let him get away with it either, you are wanting to experiment with the same sex, he is not. He has his girl so him wanting to be with other girls too is not the same thing.
My fist conclusion would not be to reach out for polyamory. My advice would be to asses the relationship that you share now. Why are you "mostly" happy, what is it that is holding you back. Is it something to do with him, or is it something else? Are you sure you are just bisexual? I for example thought I was bisexual for a long time, because I felt attraction for women, and I had been with a few women, and found great arousal with being intimate with them. However, I did not feel complete with a woman as I do with a man. I feel like when I am with a man, they can relate to my emotions, and my sexual desires. That is what makes me gay, not because of who I sleep with, but because that is who completes me. If you must come to the decision that you want to be part of a polyamorous relationship, then understand it will come with complications. I do believe it can work with "some" people (meaning like less than 5% of the population), but for the most part they are impossible when it comes to be fully committed and valued by one person. Really think about what you want, what you lack, and then take the steps you need for a more positive future. Best of wishes, and I hope this helps.
Personally, I think committed and loyal people will have this complication often while trying to sustain a relationship being bisexual. It sounds completely frustrating and I'm sorry you have to deal with those emotions. I think the first thing I'd advise you to do is really think about how your current relationship makes you feel. Are you completely happy? Is there anything lacking?(Communication? Trust?) Do you see yourself with your boyfriend for a long and serious amount of time? If you get a good grasp on those feelings... Try and think of the best way to control these feelings(Depending on how your boyfriend reacts, he might feel not good enough if you were to bring something like this up. Or maybe he would completely understand, I'm just suggesting to be careful for the sake of the relationship before you act out in any way), and try to think of the best solutions to the issue you're facing. If you're missing the emotion affection of a woman I think that there might be solutions that could work with your current relationship with your boyfriend. Is he not being sensitive enough? Is he in touch with his emotions and how he truly feels? Those might be important factors to think about. Personally, I wouldn't suggest inviting a third party to your relationship sexually for a few reasons based on the experiences I've had to deal with. One, someone in the party of three could possibly get jealous (it's highly likely). Secondly, what if you develop feelings for a woman more than sexually? (It wouldn't exactly be healthy if you wanted to keep your relationship with your boyfriend). Thirdly, you never know what could happen afterword. If I understand you correctly, I would just try to figure out what isn't satisfying you in your current relationship. I'm not saying there is something, but that would be my guess... If something is driving the temptation or the feeling of wanting attention or commitment from someone else other than your boyfriend, maybe there's something to be worked on with your relationship. I hope all this confusion gets sorted out for you!
