1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

how to say it

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by ICTOAUN, Aug 12, 2011.

  1. ICTOAUN

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2011
    Messages:
    227
    Likes Received:
    0
    im not just gunna waltz into my brother's room and say, "hey bro, im a lesbian''.
    have any suggestions on how i could say it/bring it up?
     
  2. Kidd

    Kidd Guest

    If you don't want to be blunt about it, you could just wait until an opportunity presents itself. Like, the next time you're watching TV or you're watching a movie or whatever and you see an actress or a model or someone you're attracted to, just say so. It's an icebreaker, and you can change course or just drop it completely and say you're just joking if you feel like you can't go all the way or if you don't like his reaction or whatever.
     
  3. Gerry

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2008
    Messages:
    5,163
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Las Vegas, Nevada
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Do you think your brother might have any clue about you being a lesbian? I would wait for the right moment. Randomly walking in and saying it might not be best. Like Kidd said, wait until you're both watching something or out somewhere and you notice an attractive girl -- then you can comment on it and go from there. Good luck! :slight_smile:
     
  4. TyRawr

    Board Member Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2011
    Messages:
    605
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Fair Oaks CA
    I would do as suggested. Either do something subtle like comment on who you find attractive and see how he reacts, or you can be a little more serious and have a sit down with him. I had serious conversations with all of my family members, because I wanted to be taken seriously, and in the long run it has helped them to address me, and to treat me as a mature adult.

    For example you could just talk to him and say something along the lines of: "Hey, I really have something I need to tell you, and I really need your approval, and I would like you to know Ill love you no matter what you say." It will lead you up to the anticipation of telling him you are gay, then you can just tell him.

    Or you can be less formal about it and just kind of test how he will react, but he may also see that as being a phase, or a fad.
     
  5. Mogget

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2010
    Messages:
    2,397
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    New England
    The scenario you described was almost exactly how I came out to my cousin and father. It feels awkward, but it accomplishes the job.
     
  6. solarcat

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2011
    Messages:
    214
    Likes Received:
    43
    Location:
    Arizona
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Family only
    How you come out would depend on your relationship with him (if you're coming out to him, I'm guessing you're close?) whether or not he might suspect something, hether or not you think he'll support it, etc.

    I think I agree with Kidd. A passing comment, and you can either change the subject or keep going.

    I told my mom I neded to talk to her about something, took her into my room and started with "there's something I've been thinking about for a while..." hoping to buy some time to get my thoughts together.
     
  7. SaphireMoon

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2011
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    about 2-3 hours north of the twin cities in MN
    The passing comment thing is a great idea i wish i had thought of that when i told my brother. sorry i cant offer any better advice then what was given but i can wish you lots of luck and moral support (*hug*)
     
  8. theWorldisYours

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2011
    Messages:
    114
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New York
    I was wondering the same thing for a while, until I realized that simply saying "hey I'm gay" was what I needed to do. The talking will came later, but I just couldn't get the courage to say something deep and emotional.