I lost

All humans are sinners! Nobody is perfect, they aren't perfect. In fact, the way that they judged you was a sin! Christians are taught to forgive, not hate. Tell them they are crappy christians lol. Sorry to hear it went this badly. Don't let it get you down, it's your life to live, not theirs, and if they don't respect that then they don't deserve you. It's their loss!

Hope you feel better soon.

 

Hey (*hug*),

I am so sorry you had to go through such an awful experience with your sister and brother in law (*hug*). I understand that you're feeling very hurt. Even if you were having all your arguments set up, being rejected by close family is a very hurtful experience and makes you really vulnerable.
I am sorry your sister and brother in law have such a distorted misconception of what homosexuality is and that they have been for hurtful with you.
Now there is not much you can do, except trying to protect yourself (which is the most important) and allowing them some time to change their mind about it.
Some people can react very strongly at first, then with time, when they realize the people they love haven't changed and are still the same people they always been, they come around about homosexuality.
Of course, some people are also very stubborn in their misconceptions, in that case, the best thing to do is to take your distance from them, but I now it's difficult and painful when they are close friends or family.
Just in case, here is a link to a Pflag booklet about Faith and homosexuality. Maybe it's something you can give them to think about, or read yourself to help you answer whatever arguments they may have.
http://community.pflag.org/document.doc?id=494
Let us know how you are doing and take care of yourself.
Many (*hug*) (*hug*) Cécile

 

Leave them aside for now. They presumably will maintain this attack for the time being if you give them a chance. Give them some time to absorb the information. They may change their point of view, and they may not.

Lex

 

That is true! it's one of the statements in the bible made by Jesus... Do not Judge!

It's not their place to judge, it is God's place to do so. We do not know what other people have gone though to make the choices they have made. Neither can you change who you are. God made you, you were born gay for a reason.

It is stated in the bible as well ... God knows you before you were even born.

I agree with Lexington... Let them be. if they do not accept you for who you are, then you do not need them. They say unfortunately we can not choose family, but we can choose our friends. They might come through this and be supportive in the end, or they may not. It is their choice, just as it is your choice not to make them part of your life. They must just remember, it is they who has to answer to God for everything they did on the day of Judgement.

I know it is hard, especially with your own siblings. But once they see you live a happy life, they will envy you. So let it be, focus on the people who does accept you for who you are. Specially us here in EC.

You know what, my brother in law doesn't like me at all. My sister is OK with me being gay, but not him. As a result I don't go to her, unless i know for a fact he's not there. He even told me to never set a foot in his house, that I am not welcome. But that's OK. I do miss my sister allot and only see her once a year at Xmas... he usually don't go, or if he does, he ignores me... but i ignore him anyway.

He even on the last occasion tried to talk to me, but i just ignore him. He also told me that as long as I am with my husband that he would never talk to me... So I wonder why he did try. it's not bothering me as much, but sometimes, just thinking about it, it does make me sad and a little emotional especially when my sister have a son now, the kid is about 2 years old and I have only seen him when he was born. I am connected with her on facebook, so i do see pictures of him, but it makes me sad that I am not a part of his life as i wanted to be. I always thought that I would be the fun uncle, the one who plays robbers and cops, or cowboys and Indians, or play with him with his toys in the sand. But i guess i can only do that once a year.

 

I debated what to respond to the OP, but Lex pretty much summed up my position. I have been in your shoes and I know there's not any words of advice that really make you feel better when you have an encounter like that coming out.

All you can do is hope they'll change their minds, but meantime don't worry about it. They may be ashamed of this reaction later.

 

You can't live for other people's expectations. You have to be who you are.

It's tough now but give tem time and regardless of what they think your only obligation is to be true to yourself. It will be tough for a while but when things are hard you can talk to people here.

Keep strong (*hug*)

 

I definitely agree with Lex about giving them time to absorb the information. They were totally in the wrong in judging you and preaching at you their one-sided, incorrect view of homosexuality. Once you feel enough time has passed, tell them how it made you feel to be attacked like that, and give them the pflag pamphlet Eleanor posted. Let them know that you're ok with them disagreeing with your views, but that attacking you was uncalled for, and that you hope they will control themselves in the future. If they don't get the message, cut contact with them. Stop sitting next to them in church, only talk to them if they want to apologize, and don't pay attention to anything they send you unless it has an apology in it. It's tough to go through what you've been through, but you're still here, and you're still you! We love you for that, and we encourage you to continue in life with your head held high, and the knowledge that you are loved! (*hug*)

 

>>>I just have no idea what my next step should be, I mean I literally pass them every day and sit with them at church. I am at a loss here.

You pass by them every day.
You sit next to them in church.
If they bring up your sexuality again, say you'd rather not discuss it with them.
If they don't take no for an answer, you repeat your "no" and end the discussion by removing yourself from their presence.

Lex

 

For the longest time I would change the subject or deny it or just say that I did not know. Then one day I just said that I was not, I was bisexual instead. My friend just stared at me for a second and then said that it was ok.

Also I really hope that your family comes around. It's really hard to have family disapprove of you, I've been there, for many reasons. Sometimes you just have to pick up the pieces and move on until they are ready to talk to you though..

 

That will come with time, it takes time because we got so used to not responding or to changing the subject. It took us time to have the courage to come out, so it takes time to bring the defenses down. It also does not help that you have had some bad experiences coming out.