Finding this site has really helped me alot to not hate myself for liking guys, and actually starting to feel ok with it. But just the other day I started thinking about how I am the only boy in my family, and why it had to happen to me and all, so I decided I couldnt be gay, there are people that are gay, but not me. But still I couldnt deny the fact Im attracted to dudes. So I started accepting myself as bisexual, yea, I like guys I also like girls. But the other day I was at home, I finished my homework and decided to look for pictures of this spanish male model who is really cute, and then I realized that every time I had the chance I looked for pictures of guys, and never of girls. So I decided to look for pictures of girls instead, you know like megan fox, victoria secrtet models, and I looked at them and said wow she is hot, and I really meant it they werehot!, when I was done I then searched for this spanish guy, and I noticed I was getting turned on. Thats when I got really scared, cause I realized I didnt with the female models. So now Im freaking out. Does this mean I am gay? or is there a chance I may be bi? I just want to clear this up cause its driving me nuts!!:help:
Hey, Kyle. The truth is, you probably won't have an absolutely definitive answer immediately, simply because even if it is true, it will take time for you to accept that... and in any case, no one can answer that question except you. However, that said, I think you've already answered your own question. The fact that you get turned on by the guys, but only find the girls hot is pretty typical of people who are gay Likewise, the "I'm not gay" thing could be part of the first of the stages of loss (denial-anger-bargaining-grief-acceptance) process; in this case, the loss of your identity as a straight (or even bisexual) person. Take a peek around some of the other posts where others have had similar feelings as you, and some of the advice given. I think you'll see that your sitaution is actually pretty common. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but honestly, once you get over the initial terror, I think you'll be surprised how totally fine with it you can be
First of all, I want to say that you're not alone. I, too, used to go through this dilemma myself, and it's perfectly normal thing to go through. Based on what you wrote, I think you are most likely gay, with the small chance of being bi. You said that you weren't really getting turned on by the girls, and were by the guys. The problem you're having is that you are confused by the fact that you found the girls hot. This used to happen to me all the time when I was figuring out my sexuality. I'm a lesbian, but I used to think I was bi because I would still occasionally notice an attractive boy. but then I realized, that it is okay to do that. It's perfectly okay to be gay, and still appreciate the fact that a member of the opposite sex is good-looking. The difference is that you don't want to do anything with them. I hope that clears some stuff up for you. I'm still kinda new at this giving advice thing. XD And, don't feel like you need to rush in to putting a label on yourself.
um well i went through the same thing. when i started thinking i was gay i tried removing that thought from my head. so i started thinking that im bi. and i stayed like that i also looked at pictures of hot girls like holly madison, miranda kerr, and other hotties, and i would think they were hot. but when i saw guys i would get turned on just like you... I wanted to believe that so much that when i first came out i said i was bi. but deep down i knew i was gay. and i started to accept that when i knew it was right. you see you will know when you know. we all know at different times. and when it feels right you will decide wether your gay or bi..
Yep, completely understand what you're saying. You find the girls hot (like genuinely, you do know they're hot), but you're not turned on by them in the same way you are about guys. I'm currently in the same "help! I'm confused" phase with these characteristics Hang in there - you're not alone
I'm in pretty much the same place, don't worry about it. I just kind of keep on trekking, and each day it gets a little clearer. It takes time to get to know yourself - especially when you're going against what may have been culturally instilled in you. I think that most people feel this way going through this transition. I haven't quite given up on having that movie moment where I meet the right girl and just fall madly in love and all that jazz. But deep down, I pretty much know what will happen from past experience. It will be awesome for a few weeks, and then you'll wonder what's missing. Here, try this: go watch a Shelter. It has really helped me. It was pretty much my summer - and it was interesting to feel the way I felt when I watched that movie (I guess I know why straight girls like The Notebook now). That's why I think I'm gay.
I'd say you're gay. I was the only boy in my family too, it tough to come to terms with but once you do, you'll be happier for it.
If I'm guessing right, I think the movie is 'Shelter' and is a film from 2007 And yea mate you're not alone at all. Hang in there!
Sorry, I had meant to type a gay coming of age movie "Shelter" but it seemed ostentatious. Guess I forgot to delete the "a." And yeah, it's from 2007 - don't go for the 2010 one, that's just a bad horror movie.
I was in the same position as you when I was your age man... well almost I love girls. I was always in my private time looking at images of guys and when when I was watching porn at a mates house is was always sylvia saint and jenna jameson (GAG!!) It was confusing as hell that all of these guys liked these stick thin, big titted freaks and I was like "ummm.... the look like mutants" so of course "what are you gay?" was then commented and "hell no, that's gross" was the standard reply. Oh the vicious cycles (moan). But as I've got older I guess I've realised I don't like people for whether they're a girl/guy/ts/black/white/asian or freaking pink with purple polka dots. If you're a rocking person then you can rock out with me and what's on the outside isn't really what attracts me to someone. We're all sexual beings and sometimes chemistry with someone can surprise us.... maybe that's not relevant
So did I. I am the only son though I am the middle kid. So when I was at your stage I went through the exact same thing. Even when I looked at straight porn pics, i found myself more attracted to the guys instead of the girls. Sure i would recognize that the girl is hot but that is. it was the guys in the pics that really did it for me. This stage can be really hard to get out with, but once you have done so it really will feel like your in a whole new world filled with colours, magic and so on.
